Love it...

I recently picked this book up at a thrift store for fifty cents and I love it. It's a collection of short stories written by Richard Bausch and, other than some bad language, I think it's brilliant. In fact I have little note cards floating around my room with tidbits of his brilliance written all over them. So far every story has been filled with alcoholism, divorce, death, despair or dysfunction of some sort or another, but what can I say, it speaks to me.

I am so inspired by the talents of others, and authors like Richard Bausch make me want to PUSH myself to be the best that I can be.

He also makes me want to write more short stories. I love short stories.

Maybe I'll start doing a short story day on this here blog.

Then again,

Maybe not.

Have you pushed yourself today?

Live long and prosper...

My husband likes Star Trek. He watched it growing up.
We watched The Next Generation during our early years of marriage (good times, good memories).
We've seen all of the movies.
And we occasionally watch Star Trek related programming with our children now.

Saturday night we watched the new Star Trek movie--you know the one with the young, eye candy, Captain Kirk--and really liked it.


After the movie we all made the "Live long and prosper" sign. Well all of us but my dear (more treky than the rest of us) husband. It turns out he can't do this sign and never could.

When Marlee and I tried to tutor him on how to do it he said, "No. Really. You don't think I tried that for hours as a kid? I can't do it." If only I could have captured that moment on tape because it was hilarious. Marlee and I rolled (literally) with laughter, tears streaming down our faces, at the image of this poor boy trying so hard to be a Volcan only to fail time and again (especially the way he tells the story--FUNNY). Sorry, I'm sure this is one of those "You had to be there moments" but because I was there I wanted to write it down so I'd never forget. Good, good times.

Can you do the Volcan sign?
Am I even spelling Volcan right?
Have you had a really, really good laugh lately?
You should it's fun.

Try it, try it and you may. Try it and you may I say...

Knowing that I had to teach Joy School was not bringing me joy yesterday. In fact the entire morning--trying to get the kids to school on time, preparing myself to teach and thinking about my crazy writing deadline--left me feeling a whole lot of OVERWHELMED! So a half an hour before the kiddos were to show up I decided to crank some music to forget my troubles and get jazzed up for the day.

I pushed the play button on the disc player and prepared to rock. Only the disc player didn't rock it hummed. It hummed the gentle instrumental sounds of church hymns, "O My Father" to be exact. "No, this isn't what I want. I want to rock." I told myself as I quickly walked over to change the disc, but before I could, I realized that even though I didn't want that music it was exactly what I needed. I left it on and, by the time the kids showed up, felt soothed and ready to conquer the world once again.

In going through some old notes from a writing conference I had attended I read:

"Put the things of eternity first. The Lord will magnify your talents."

I realized that I haven't been doing this. I have been so concerned about my deadline that I have not taken time to study, ponder and pray about the things of eternity. So today I changed that. Today I decided to put the Lord first, knowing that he would give me the strength to conquer the obstacles that might come up throughout the rest of my day.

And as always, I found words of comfort when I read in 1 Peter:

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God...
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

These verses spoke to me because I know that I need to remain sober and vigilant, not getting too far ahead of myself or giving into feelings of inadequacy--feelings that my adversary the devil will always seek to impose upon me--and that I need to, AND CAN, cast my care upon the Lord because he does care for me. Never forgetting that it's in the TRYING that the greatest joy can be found.

Like when the kids and I threw little cookies into the air yesterday and tried to catch them in our mouths. Believe it or not, this was the first time in my whole forty years that I had played this game. And guess what, I learned that I was good at it. I could catch little cookies in my mouth! Such joy! Such rapture!

Isn't life amazing? Just when I thought I knew everything there was to know about myself, I caught a cookie!

What will you learn about yourself today?

Whatever it is do it with joy,
remembering that missed cookies really do sweep up easily.

Well, I didn't see that coming...

This is a tale of two doors and how they made a crazy girl with an even crazier deadline very, very, um...
crazy(er/est).


Now the door on the right is the entrance to this crazy lady's home, the door on the left is her bedroom. And I must tell you that a crazy lady's bedroom should never, never be in such close proximity to her front door. It is a very faulty design indeed.

For as is typically so with crazy people, every so often this crazy lady gets a wild hair (big projects and the like) that must dictate her life if only for a small season. At which time she says to her husband, who is only crazy by association, that she must put everything else on hold until she is done with her project and or deadline.

Her husband, having lived with her for many years, knows that the best he can say at moments such as these is, "I know you can do it Hun. And I support you 100%."
Which is exactly what he said to her on this her latest project--a bold, nearly (but not completely) impossible writing deadline that both terrifies and delights her on a level that cannot be describe (really, I can't describe it).

So great is her joy that she didn't even loose heart when she remembered that it was her turn to teach Joy School this week. "I can do this." She said. "Yes, I can do anything." Higher than high, gladder than glad... she didn't think anything would ever get her down again.
Until...

...she walked out of her kitchen to greet the other joy school mommies and saw this...

...the left door had been opened! Revealing the side effects of a crazy person's devotion to her crazy projects and or deadlines. Yes, this is my room in all of its Scarlett O'Hara-esque "I can't think about that today, I'll think about it tomorrow" glory (minus the view of the close to knee-high clean laundry pile at the foot of the bed. I spared you--and or me--that).

And so as is also typical with crazy people, I have spent this day laughing and laughing over this very unfortunate mishap (some crazies laugh, others cry. I am of the laughing variety) and have now decided to post the contents of the left door for all to see because when life tries to tell me to be ashamed of my spilled milk, I shake a defiant fist and say, "Ashamed? Ha! Watch, I'll dump the whole gallon."

I know good is coming, it's always coming,
but sometimes we have to take a detour onto the road less traveled to meet it.

To compete or not to compete...

Thanks to Tara over at Eye Feathers I found a wonderful blog called KidLit.Com Tara mentioned a contest that's going on over at kidlit (check it out here) so I headed over to see it for myself and I must admit that I'm very intrigued by it, but should I enter? It's a contest to find the best beginning of a novel (first 500 words). It could be really fun but I don't know if I'm ready. I want my novel to be GOLD I tell you. GOLD.

Is it gold yet?

Hmm, maybe.

But perhaps I should work a little more to make sure.

What to do, what to do.

Whatever I decide it better be quick.

The contest ends tomorrow.

Yikes.

Chipmunks and yogurt and deadlines, Oh My...

If I had time I'd tell you that Landon got his wisdom teeth out on Wednesday. And that they were the biggest wisdom teeth the doctor had ever seen (seriously huge). And that he got them out with only a local which caused him "blinding pain" because he's tough like that. And that he's now a chipmunk who's living on a diet of yogurt and smoothies. If I had time I'd tell you all of that and more, but I don't have time.

I've given myself a deadline and now I spend every waking moment (when I'm not doing mom stuff) writing, writing and writing. Yesterday every waking moment meant until 3 in the morning because that's how long I was awake. And now I feel like a train has run over my head but I don't care because writing energizes me, which is a good thing because I'll probably have many more late nights trying to reach my goal.
Lets hear it for deadlines
Woo-hoo!

Food for thought or thoughts on food...

Last night I was able to do a little blog hopping, something I haven't had time to do for quite awhile, and I happened upon a lovely blog (check it out here) with a lovely recipe that works pretty well with my whole p90x thing-a-maroo. It isn't a cooking blog it's actually a very cute decorating and craftyish blog that I think my sister Larisa would like (go check it out Larisa) but there amongst the cuteness was this happy p90x-ish recipe BONUS.

Because so many of my peeps are also doing p90x I decided to go ahead and share the recipe on this here blog-o-mine. They're called faux pancakes, but don't really think of them as pancakes because they're definitely not (a little eggy), but I made them this morning and I'd have to say that they were pretty good.


Mine don't look as pretty as they do on the other blog (without thinking I tried to cook them on the griddle. Don't do that people. Think crepes and cook them in a ROUND pan. Duh.) They can be eaten with syrup, but I opted for berries (yum).

And with that, I give you the recipe:

2 EGG WHITES + 1 WHOLE EGG
1/4 TEASPOON VANILLA
1 TEASPOON RAW SUGAR OR OTHER SWEETENER (I used cinnamon sugar)
FRESH FRUIT & NUTS
SMALL BIT OF PURE MAPLE SYRUP

Whisk together the egg whites, whole egg, vanilla, & sweetener in a bowl, pour mixture into a nonstick pan over medium-high heat. when batter is firm on one side, flip it over. Once fully cooked, place on plate, top with fruit and syrup.

Go ahead try it. I think you'll like it. Especially with a side of turkey bacon (only my bacon's not turkey it's bonafide pig fat it is. Shh, don't tell anyone).

And while we are on the subject of p90x...

Paula Deen has a good peanut butter cookie recipe that's low in carbs, but still has a lot of sugar. So today I thought to myself, "Hey self, why don't you try to find a way to make these cookies with less sugar." So I did just that. The original recipe is

1 cup peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
mix all together, place in balls on cookie sheet (do the smash with fork little criss cross thing) and bake at 350 for 10-12 min.

Simple enough, but in place of the one cup sugar I put two scoops full of the vanilla whey protein powder into a measuring cup, which ended up being about 3/4 of a cup then added 1/4 cup of sugar to complete it.

And guess what, they're good and a great little protein snack too.

But don't do like I did and then try to see what they'd taste like with only protein powder and no sugar (I added dry fruit instead of sugar to see if that would make them sweet enough) because they are very much not yummy when made that way. No not yummy at all.

And so ends our p90x moment. I know I promised to post about the program, and I will, but not today because I'm tired and I'm supposed to be working on my manuscript. I've given myself a deadline to finish editing it (thank you Tara) and I really must stick to it. Yes, I really must.

It's a comin'...

Remember this quote from my C.S. Lewis and friends journal:

"I know that good is coming to me--that good is always coming, though few have at all times the simplicity and courage to believe it."
~George MacDonald, the last page of PHANTASTES.

Well it's true. I know it's true because my heart's all a flutter and I've even had some interesting dreams about it.

I love dreams. Someday I think I will do a post on why I love dreams because I really do love them. They can be very powerful and life changing sometimes. Love it.

But for now I will tell you that I'm very excited about the good that I know is coming to my life.

I even put my motivational poster back up in my room (I had taken it down when I redecorated) and I love looking at it. It just feels me with all kinds of warm and fuzzy energy.

I recently wrote these words in my journal:

I don't want to spend my life rowing in the wrong direction. I no longer want to guess which way to go, exhausting myself to get there, only to find that my path was wrong. I want to live my life in a manner that I might be worthy of and in tune to the directions of the Spirit. I want to go where He would have me go. I will row to get there, wearing out my arms in His service if needs be, but I pray--please don't let me waste my life here. Please show me the way.

And wouldn't you know, He is showing me the way. He is showing me the way and I am so excited to follow.

Good is coming. It is always coming.
It's coming for you too
if you will only have the simplicity and courage to believe it.

Love in an elevator, well blog love that is...

Writer's Workshop Prompt:

According to Wikipedia an Elevator Pitch is “an overview of an idea for a product, service, or project. The name reflects the fact that an elevator pitch can be delivered in the time span of an elevator ride. Create an Elevator Pitch describing what your blog is about.

************************************

I recently learned that the words, "I'm thinking about quiting blogging" are not a good pitch. No not at all. My husband said I mustn't, my kids were upset, my loyal readers were oh so sweet and supportive. Thank you. So for now at least, it looks as if the blog's gonna stay (me thinks).

And while considering this I started thinking that maybe I would start another blog as well (because when you barely have time to keep up with one blog what's the best thing to do? Well start a second one of course).

This second blog would be strictly for my deep thoughts and daily ponderings. There I would share fabulous quotes and what nots that I find through my daily studying

Like this quote found in my C.S. Lewis journal in Words For This Day:

All fortune is good--whether be it harsh or be it pleasing... yet I know not who would dare to say so to foolish men, for no fool could believe it.

~Charles Williams, quoting Boethius in THE DESCENT OF THE DOVE

I would share quotes like that and then I would tell you why it makes my spine all tingly and happy when I read it and why I know it's true and how it has changed my life. This is what my new blog would be about and I would try to post daily (because it would benefit me greatly to post of such things daily).

In having a new blog, those who want to read my deep thoughts and ponderings can, and those who don't can stay here and read about why it is that my kids insist on peeling the paint off of the walls.

Seriously. Why?

But of course this is only an idea that I'm playing with. I might just decide to stay right here to post my deep thoughts and ponderings when I feel so inclined (sorry to those who don't like deep thoughts and ponderings, but then again if you don't you probably left me a long time ago). I don't know what I'll do for sure, but I can't really ask my amazing blog designer Mary to set up another blog for me for FREE again. And I ain't gots no money. Can you relate? I bets you can. So we'll just have to wait and see. Yes we will.

How's that for an elevator pitch, "Read my blog because I have no idea what I'm doing."

Catchy dontcha think.

A few things...

1) On MLK Day we did some community service and it was fabulous. We cleaned up garbage around the town lake and the kids loved it. Convincing themselves that everything had been left there by "hobos" turned the day into a magical game for them (and a very funny adventure for us adults). "Hey look I found a hobo candy wrapper, a hobo water bottle, a hobo shirt, a hobo baby shoe, a hobo bed, a hobo this that and the other..." they'd say. Too cute. But the funniest was when they all ran toward us with glee spread across their faces and announced, "We saw a hobo! A real live hobo!"

"Um, that would be another person picking up garbage." We told them, which led to a deflated, "Oh." sounded in unison before they took off in search of another real, real live hobo and or other hobo paraphernalia once again.

It was a great day, a great experience, and it taught me how easy and rewarding family service projects can be. We'll definitely be doing more in the future.

2) P90x is going very well. It's hard but I love it. I took my before pictures and my plan was to post pictures of my results in three months but I'm torn because...

3) I'm seriously considering calling it quits on blogging. I'm thinking of making my blog private. As in private, private. As in nobody reads it but me private. I'm torn, very torn, but that's kind of the direction I'm heading right now. It's not because of privacy or safety issues it just that... well if I decided to go private I'll write a post to explain why before I do okay. But one small reason is this...

My sister used to need my blog and count on it everyday and my mom was on a mission far away so I felt happy to share stories about my life with them, but now I don't know that I'm really needed in this way anymore. I don't know if it benefits anyone for me to publicly post my comings and goings and thoughts on this or that anymore. If it did I would continue, I would. Making people happy (even at my own expense) makes me happy, but if I'm not needed in that way anymore I'd be just as happy to go private and not embarrass myself with all of the stories of my comings and goings and thoughts on this or that. But like I said I'm torn so time will tell.

My Love List...

TODAY'S PROMPT:
Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history. Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you’d like to continue pursuing a relationship with.

As with all rose ceremonies, it is hard to have to narrow this list down to only 10. There are so many other people and things that I could add to this list if I had more roses (or if 5000 word blog post weren't universally frowned upon) but as it is I will only pick these few today.

Now some of you have heard me speak in the past about how I was torn between two loves, the great Paula Deen and Mr. hotty body Hugh Jackman. I want to eat like Paula and look like Hugh (well a more girly Hugh that is, in other words I want a hotty body too). But I now know that I can't have both, I must choose and after careful consideration I give my first rose to...

Hugh. I'm sorry Paula but I started the p90x workout this week and EVERYTHING that you eat is a no-no. Can't have any of it. So I must let you go, but I promise to visit during all major holidays.

And speaking of p90x,(I promise to post about it later) even though your workouts are killing me and I can't walk today, I have to say that I think I love you. So please accept my second rose. You've made me stop and think about what I eat which is already making me feel better and because of you I'm back to PLANNING nutritious meals for my family. You're fabulous, don't ever change.

And again speaking of p90x, my husband is participating in it with me which makes it SO MUCH EASIER. So my third rose goes to him, my hubs, thanks for being the greatest support a gal could ask for. Love you.

When considering who I would award these roses to, I of course thought of the many bloggers out there that I love. I could have done a complete ceremony on blog love alone, but today I decided on just two even though there are many, many more who deserve a rose as well.

I give my fourth rose to my good friend Mary over at Shaking the Tree. Mary is a make-up artist and I love the fabulous stories and tips she shares on her blog. Like how to do the perfect back-comb. Bump-its be gone, I can back-comb now and it's all thanks to Mary.

And look, when she came to visit over the holidays she even gave me my own special back-combing tool extraordinaire. Love it and love her.

My fifth rose goes to a blogger named Tara over at Eye Feathers. She is a writer and an editor and with post titles like...

Finding the Right Beat

Plot Twists and Foreshadowing

Scene Breaks and Transitions

Marketing for Writers and

Deadlines for Writers

she inspires me to DO MORE WRITING and heaven knows I need that.

.

Now if I have one vice it is reality TV. Love the drama of reality, but I'm afraid I am going to have to let that go and instead give my sixth rose to...

Reading. I am going to forsake my love for the crazy reality people and turn toward books. I love to read but I don't make enough time for it and I need to because, not only is it enjoyable, but it helps my writing skills too.

And speaking of writing, my seventh rose goes to the writer's conference I'll be attending next month (I'll post more about that later). I love writing conferences. I love them for what they teach me and I love them for bringing a spark of passion to my life. Being excited about something is the spice people, and I'm SO excited.

And about spice, passion and excitement, I think I am going to have to let go of my love affair with the Valley of the Sun and embrace my new home.

So my eighth rose goes to this small town home of mine. I'm going to try harder to find the spice, passion and excitement here. I can do it right? Of course I can (good grief it's been three years... if not now then when).

Okay so I lied. I can't let go of my Valley home. So please Valley of the Sun, accept my ninth rose. I will always love you. ALWAYS. But please know that you must now be the "other" place in my life. Because it appears that I must forever remain married to this small town life.

.

And of course my tenth rose must go to (drum roll please) ALL OF YOU. I so appreciate you coming here to read and share in all of my yackity smackityin'. Thanks I couldn't (and probably wouldn't) do this without you.

I'm ready...

I recently picked this journal up at a thrift store. It's called "Around the Year With C.S. Lewis & His Friends"

It shares excerpts from C.S. Lewis' journals at the top of the page, followed by a space to record my thoughts, then ends with a wonderful quote in Words for this day. It's fabulous I tell you, FABULOUS.

Today I wrote:

The stumbling blocks that I have used to build walls, because it is much easier to hide behind walls, must come down. I must walk through the ruble, being strengthened with every step, so that I can be ready to be the Lord's servant. I will work on me so that He can work through me. It is a very exciting time indeed. I know that if I do my part I will see God's miracles this year. He will lead me to exactly where I need to be when I need to be there.

I testify to you that I know these words are true. Just as I know that it is no coincidence that the words for this day read:

"I know that good is coming to me--that good is always coming, though few have at all times the simplicity and courage to believe it."

~George MacDonald, the last page of PHANTASTES.

It is also no coincidence that this mornings scripture study led me to words that confirmed that I am on the right path, or that at the very moment this knowledge was given to me through scripture, words, and ponderings, I was slammed with feelings of fear, doubt and great darkness, feelings that led me to reflect on the words of the day from January first:

"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him."

~J.R.R. Tolkien, THE HOBBIT

I know that I do live near a live dragon. Satan, the father of lies, will try to destroy me throughout my journey and I must remember him in my calculations, recognizing his deceptions and pushing through them, if I am ever to succeed.

And I tell that dragon, I am a follower of Christ

My sword is drawn, and I am ready to fight

More...

WRITERS WORKSHOP PROMPT:
Describe what you would change about yourself if you could.

We had a delightful Christmas this year. Pulling together to ask Santa for a family present was a brilliant idea, the kids got their wii and Santa had an easy delivery. Perfect.

It was a beautiful day and we felt very blessed.
.
So when Jamie told me this morning that Santa had not visited the home of one of her school friends it knocked the breath right out of me. And when she said that her friend had explained, "Well my little brother was kind of bad this year." My heart crumbled, falling down into my gut where sharp pieces of it have been stabbing me all day.
.
Growing up, I would cuddle my one cherished baby doll and wonder just what my wealthy friends had done to deserve the overflowing bounty from the big man in red. Never once did it cross my mind that perhaps I had been bad only that they must have been EXTRA good. So to think of those sweet innocent children coming to the conclusion that they must have somehow ended up on the naughty list is too painful to bear. And to think of their poor single mom left alone on Christmas with no one to turn to... ouch.
.
Every Christmas we (and so many others) try to reach out to those in need, but knowing that there are still those who fall between the cracks makes me want to do more. And that's the one thing I would change about myself if I could. I would do more.
.
I'd be more aware, more alert, more in tune to what's going on around me. I would seek more spiritual guidance to be a better servant in the Lord's hands and I'd pray more to know how I could help those in need.
.
Yes that's what I would change if I could.
And good news...
I can.
.

(Don't forget to visit Mama's Losin' It to read more. Or write your own post and join in the fun)

Please stop it...

My nose hurts. It won't stop running. It just runs and runs, forcing me to blow it to a red, flaky, owie mess. I'm not pleased. And I'm not well either. So last night after a hard day of Christmas clean-up-- me, my owie nose, and burning right foot retired early. We went to bed we did, but because we couldn't sleep we decided to watch some mindless television. We decided to watch mindless television on the very night that the most mindless show of all was starting a new season. That's right, "The Bachelor".

I haven't watched The Bachelor since season one (I also watched the Trista and Ryan Bachelorette, but who's counting) and when I woke up this morning I felt as if I could use some therapy or a support group or maybe just a shower to cleanse my mind of that sloppy, cat claw, male fantasy, nightmare of a show. Yikes I say. Yikes.

As I sat pondering about where I could find such a support group I remembered that back when I used to watch Regis and Kelly, Ms. Kelly Rippa herself admittedly watched those desperate bachelor babes, so I tuned in. I tuned in to see just what she had to say about the whole mess. And like me, she didn't like it. She didn't like it one bit. She said that it went against nature for women to fight over a man. She said that it is the men who are supposed to fight over the women and she wondered just what had happened to make this change.

Well I'll tell you what happened Ms. Kelly Rippa. The women started giving the milk away for free that's what. Men like the milk. Yes they do. Men will fight for the milk. Yes they will. And now that they don't have to fight for it anymore, the power has shifted. The men get what they want WAY TOO EASILY and the women are left to run around like blubbering idiots in fancy ball gowns. Barf, barf and more barf.

Knock it off women. You gots the milk which means you gots the power. START ACTING LIKE IT. Please.

P.S. Do you think they pay extra to those who keep the crazy person on the show? I'm thinking they must.

Hey guess what...
I found my support group.
There's a Bachelor link party over at
Mama's Losin' It
Go check it out.

au dieu two week party, au dieu...

My house is so quiet
Waylon's still sleeping
The others are back to school
It's strange I tell you
Strange
Oh well
Guess I'd best get busy...

...Cleaning up Christmas

.

The decorating part is much more fun

But too bad, so sad

The time has come and the party is over

Wish me luck

.

At least the Christmas tree is already gone.