Ready or not...

My foot hates me. It didn't say that in so many words because, well, it can't talk, but I can tell by the way it shoots me with what feels like a berjillion volts of searing pain every time I try to stand on it that it does indeed hate me. I feel bad. I don't like people and or body parts to hate me, but I don't know what else I can do. I've tried to be nice to it, hobbling around on crutches and keeping it up as much as possible for SIX WEEKS now. What more could it want?

I've put my life on hold for you foot. PUT MY LIFE ON HOLD. Can you not see that?
Look...

The drill and screws are right where I left them SIX WEEKS ago, sitting atop that ginormous dresser that you helped me move. Look... SIX WEEKS of dust build up is there too. Is that not enough to prove that I care about your well being? I have babied the crap out of you foot. We've done as little work as possible and have eaten so much take out that last night I was left to ponder when exactly it was that my family had last eaten a vegetable. Do you not find that terribly sad foot? Because I do.

So I'm here to tell you, "Your time's up Mister." (Uh, I mean Ms.) You have given me no choice but to get back to my life with or without you. I'm hosting Thanksgiving at my house in two days, that's right you heard me, THANKSGIVING and you are not going to stop me so don't even try. Which means that we have some work to do, you and I, and you're just going to have to suck it up and help me. That's right you heard me and I think we'll start by picking up that drill and hanging the curtain that I tried to hang that day after you broke. Remember? I thought I could ignore you and continue working anyway because I'm stubborn like that, but you said, "Ha-ha" and started hurting really bad, so we went to the Dr instead. Good times.

Hmm, I wonder what will happen to us this time...

Me, rowdy? I don't think so...

(see my guy's perfectly paid for truck, but please ignore me. Yikes)

"You're kind of rowdy on your blog." My husband told me.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Sting operations, hotel prom dates, shirtless werewolves... I've been reading your blog and it's pretty crazy."
"Well you know that thing with Jacob (the hunky werewolf) is all tongue and cheek. It doesn't mean anything." I explained.
"It's true dad." Paige piped in. "She even says that she didn't like Jacob or Edward by the time she finished reading the books." (thanks Paige)
"Oh I know." Rick said. "I'm not upset. I'm just saying, you're pretty rowdy."

In my defense, I usually wasn't "rowdy" on purpose (usually) I was just a silly naive girl who did stupid naive things, but I survived to tell about it so sometimes I do just that, I tell about it.

And about hunky werewolf boy Jacob... I don't really lust the lad. He's a child for heaven's sake, younger than my own son, but I do respect the heck out the kid for being able to create that awesome bod and it is purty. Even Rick and Landon let out an audible "holy crap" when they came into the room while I was watching a New Moon special on TV, "that kid's only 17?" They asked in amazement.

I have always respected disciplined, hard working, determined people, probably because those are the traits I desire most in myself. It's why I turned my nose up at the young man with the daddy bought Porsche who once vied for my affection, (note to any single guys who are reading this, of which I am sure there are none, "You'd like me if you knew what kind of car I drive." Is not a good pick up line. No it is not.) but agreed to date the boy with the Corvette because he had set a goal to buy it himself by the time he reached 21, and HE DID. Impressive. I've never been impressed by fancy cars, but the determination to work hard and buy one was something to respect.

Which is why I told my dad, with a gleam in my eye, "And his truck is paid off. And he paid it off himself." When I talked about the new boy, Rick, who had stolen my heart. I knew this was a young man who I would always be able to count on, and so he has been. Love him.

He's my Jaward. All of the best traits of Jacob and Edward rolled into one perfect guy who, rowdy girl or not, loves me so completely that I have to just pinch myself and thank those angels for singing that day he walked past my desk 20 years ago. I am a lucky girl indeed.

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And a HAPPY BIRTHDAY shout out to my precious Jamie who turned 8 this weekend

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May all of your birthday wishes come true!

Him is purty...

I feel hungover this morning. But although I did get pulled over last night for a suspected DUI (I was driving with my left foot, chatting with my girls and searching for my cell phone) I promise there was no drinking going on. Just good times with good friends in search of some hot werewolf love. And let me just say to those of you who have switched your allegiances over to team Jacob after seeing New Moon
because...

OH MY GOSH!!!

Just remember, those of us who have been faithful team Jacobers all along get FIRST DIBS. First dibs I say.
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I will never fully understand the appeal of Edward. I mean the guys alright, but seriously...Cold (yuck)? Marble hard (as in literally rock hard not sexy man hard body hard)? Fatherly (who wants someone telling them what to do all of the time? Get off my back Edward. Jeeze.)? And I just have two words for the director of New Moon (and future movies) concerning Mr. Edward Cullen...BODY DOUBLE. Look into it (okay so maybe that was rude, but come on).
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Yes Jacob's my guy (well sorta. I got sick of both of them by the end of the series) warm, ripped, fun and happy for heck sakes. The boy smiles. Edward your painful expression is causing me PAIN and not because I feel for you, but because you annoy me. Lighten up dude.
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And to prove that I indeed have always been a true team Jacober I will tell you that New Moon was my favorite book in the series (yeah, I said it) because I got a break from hearing about Edward and Bella's sappy romance (yeah, I said that too) and got to read about a real boy (I like real boys) with real boy feelings, and real boy WARMTH, and real boy TESTOSTERONE (I think Edward's testosterone was replaced by blood lust... not quite as intriguing as real boy testosterone driven feelings if you ask me)
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Wow I didn't plan for this post to be such the Edward slamfest. I better quit before I get hurt. Sorry to all of you team Edwarders out there. Your guy's pretty swell too... I mean that... really...

The Young Love Chronicles...

WRITERS WORKSHOP PROMPT:
Share a diary entry from when you were 13 (only I was 12, but close enough)

April 30, 1982

Today my family and I went camping with the ward for an outing. Our camp was right by a creek. Me, Larisa and Candice were wading at the creek when all of a sudden the boys came and started bombing us with seaweed. It was so gross! They got it in our hair, on our face, all over our clothes and everything!! Later the mutual kids (that includes me) after all the parents went to bed, sat around the fire and talked and listened to music. My sister Larisa and friend Candice kept telling me that S- liked me! Later we all went in groups to find one of the boys. Just take a wild guess who was in my group! That's right S- and his friend B-. Me and Larisa had a bottle of pop sitting by the place we were sleeping and the boys put a frog in it. There was a loud scream when we went to drink that pop!!! Finally we decided to go to bed. The next morning I didn't see S- much because he went hiking and then went home that afternoon. But just before my family went home S-'s friend B- came up to me and asked if I would go with S-. There wasn't even a moments hesitation, I said yes!!!

May 2, 1982

Today is Sunday. I looked all over for S- today at church but I couldn't find him anywhere. Then just before I left his friend B- came up to me and asked me if I still wanted to go with S-. And of course I said yes. Then my friend T- who also likes S- came up to me and said in a kind of mad voice, "Congratulations your going with S-." I said yeah I know and just smiled. I just got off the phone with S-. He said he was just checkin out my phone number.

May 3, 1982

S- called me again tonight. We talked for at least an hour or so.

May 4, 1982

S- called again tonight. We talked about anything and everything for about 2 hours.

May 5, 1982

Guess what S- called again tonight.

May 6, 1982

Today after school S- invited me swimming at his house. Larisa and all the neighbor kids that I know were there too. We all crammed into the jacuzzi and everyone kept pushing me and S- closer together trying to make us hold hands. Well of course I wanted to hold his hand but I don't know why but I always wait for the boy to hold my hand first. But then finally he held my hand and that was that. After we were done swimming S- drove me home on his motorcycle!! I love motorcycles especially when there's a boy in front to hold on real tight to!!!

May 7, 1982

Tonight me Larisa, S- and his friend B- were out on the canal bank talking. Then Larisa and B- left us alone. Boy was that boring!!! We just sat there like dead heads forever la te da!!! But then Larisa and B- got impatient. We were just about to leave when it happened he kissed me. It wasn't much but it was a start!!!

And so ends the record of the S+J saga. And after reading that I just have a few questions...

Why in the heck did I already have a boyfriend when I was only 12? AND...

Why in the heck was I allowed to talk for hours on end with, sit in a jacuzzi with, ride on a motorcycle with and smooch on the canal bank with said boyfriend when I was ONLY TWELVE? That's just plain crazy (of course I don't think my mom was privy to any of this information).

Oh well what can I say,

S- was cute.

Powerless...

I'm way behind on blogging, both writing and reading. I miss y'all and thought maybe I could play a little catch up today since I'm feeling a little blucky and can't do much else. Unfortunately though, the charger to my laptop is feeling a little blucky too. Well actually it's dead. At least I hope that's the problem and not something more serious, but whatever the case my computer won't respond to its power adapter and I'm very sad. A new charger should get here in about two days, here's hoping it works.

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So now I'm forced to sit at a desk and type on the family computer. And though this was never a problem for me before my husband so generously gifted me my very own "book writing machine" (the name he gave my laptop) I don't like it now. It hurts my neck. And wrists. And tethers me down. And I can't access my pictures. Or my files--including the manuscript I'm working on. And I'm a big whiner baby I know, but I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hope that new charger works. Keep your fingers crossed for me K. And yes I did back up my manuscript, but not all of our family pictures (priorities) so REALLY keep your fingers crossed for me K.

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Anyhoo, I love you all and plan to get back to regular blogging soon (like in two days when my charger gets here or perhaps sooner if I decide that this desk gig ain't so bad after all).

Wowwie Zowwie...

She

Loves him.

LOVES HIM!

So we took her to see this.

And I was blown away by the level of talent that had been assembled for this concert. This program was oozing talent. OOZING. From the dancers to the guitarists, backup singers and other musicians, to the directors, set designers, costume designers and technicians of all sorts. Wow is all I have to say. WOW. That would have been the concert of concerts. I feel bad that it never came to be.

But watching the movie did fill me with warm fuzzies toward the human spirit of creativity. Love creativity. And I thought for a moment that perhaps I too could conquer the world (creatively speaking that is). Perhaps. But then I got home and decided that climbing under my covers seemed like a better idea.

For now at least.

The world will never know...

WRITERS WORKSHOP PROMPT:
Describe the best/most creative punishment you have ever given your children or received yourself.

It was my senior year, or was it my junior? No matter, the important thing is that it was the year of the best punishment I ever received and I say this because it's about the only one I remember so it must have been good.

Howard Jones was coming to the state fair, on a school night, and I and a group of friends were going. Woo-hoo! That is until I was late to my A- hour class that morning for the umpteenth time and my dad, feeling very frustrated with my endless, shameless, lateness said, "If you can't get up for class on a normal day what makes you think you will be able to get up after being at a concert all night?" And so instead of Howard Jones I got to go to bed early. Good times.

Although I will admit that this punishment fit the crime, one of those natural consequence things, and I did remember it, I did not however LEARN ANYTHING FROM IT. No I did not. For I am still late to everything. EVERYTHING I tell you.

So we are left to wonder if in fact GOING to the Howard Jones concert instead of missing it would have been the thing to cure my lateness. Perhaps I would have been so grateful to my parents for letting me go that I would have jumped up early everyday thereafter, beginning a new habit of punctuality that would have carried over to this very day.

But sadly, I DID miss Howard Jones and now we will never know just what I could have been.

No we won't.

Big, fat, juicy sour grapes...

A letter to me from my broken foot...



Dear Jeanette (I think I know you well enough to call you that),

You said you weren't mad at me for making you miss going to The Phantom of the Opera with Marlee, Paige and Rick this weekend. You said you were happy for Landon to go in your place.

And that staying in the hotel room with your youngest three, playing with bendaroos, eating junk food and watching movies would be fun.

You said you were happy to do it. That's what you said. But now I know that you must have been lying. LYING. Why else would you have dragged me around the entire next day from yard sales to thrift stores, to music/book stores and the mall? Walking and walking all day long without ever putting me up. YOU NEVER ELEVATED ME. No not once.

And that's why I hurt you today and why I looked like some kind of squishy Jabba the Hut foot when you got home (this picture doesn't show how bad I was but everyone in the house freaked out when they saw me, running for ice and ibuprofen and snapping pictures because I looked so huge-o-mungous). So Ha! Take that! If you're going to try to get revenge on me then I'm just going to give it right back to you girl. Because guess what... it's not my fault I'm broken, IT'S YOURS. Try to remember that.

Sincerely,

Your broken foot

P.S. At least I'm not as purple as I have been. This should prove that I'm trying, so could you please meet me half way on this. Please. Thanks I'd appreciate that (your biceps, hands, armpits and very worn out left leg told me that they would appreciate that too thank you very much).

Busy, busy...

Please forgive my for not writing, but I've been very busy, uh, writing. And boy am I having a fabulous time at it. I had almost forgotten how fun it is to spin a yarn. I love the characters, love the story and love the puzzle of putting it all together. Good times.

BIAM or bust...

November is National Book in a Month, month or BIAM. It's a fun challenge to try to write an entire book in a months time, or to finish a work in progress, or at least make yourself write everyday.

I decided to start fresh on a whole new story, hoping that this will get my creative juices flowing so I can work on the manuscript that my girls beg me everyday to "PLEASE FINISH!"

I set a goal to write 750 words a day. I wanted to say 1000, but I needed to keep my goal realistic. So now if I get to 1000 anyway-- BONUS-- without the pressure.

Yesterday I only had time for 633 words but hey, that's a start. I'm writing a type of story that I said I would never do, but the other day the entire story (minus all of the fine details, that's the hard part) flowed through me and the characters have been keeping me up at night (love that) so I know I need to write it. FUN.

Now I'm off to write my 750 words.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.
Self-doubt is always my biggest obstacle.

Good times...

We survived another Halloween.

With a Hulk who refused to wear makeup

A witch who got very unhappy and cried off most of her makeup

A vampire, prettier than any from the Cullens clan could ever hope to be

A yucky oozing wound zombie ghost lady. Yikes.



And a girl who had half her face ripped off, poor thing.
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We had a fun time trunk or treating and visiting with family and friends.

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But the next day was even better when we all got together for our first annual Dia de los Muertos celebration. This year we kept it simple with just a few pictures of our loved ones on display, but the food was so YUMMY and the company PERFECT.

I didn't get very many pictures because it's hard to hold a camera while balancing on crutches (and heaven forbid that I should ever ask for help) but here's a few from the program portion of the evening.

We all gathered around and listened to stories of our grandpas. I told the kids that the reason we had steak for dinner was because Grandpa Johnson had been born a fish, but his parents fed him steak everyday until he turned into a boy. It was a favorite childhood story that my dad used to tell us, claiming that he had a scar on his bottom from where his dad had chopped off his little fishy tail. We kids always loved that story and the grandkids loved it too.

Rick then explained that we ate shrimp because it was one of Grandpa Turk's favorites and he told a funny story of Grandpa's allergic reactions to shrimp. He'd have these allergic reactions then eat it again anyway. That's true shrimp love right there.

We sang some favorite family songs. "Once Traveling with the Circus" in honor of Turk and "The farmer boy" for Grandpa Johnson.

Well, my brother Lynn sang "The Farmer Boy" for us because none of our kids have been taught it yet (sinful).

My sister Laurann's wonderful beau Jon (we love him) came too and shared some stories of his dad who passed away also. It was a Day of the Dead, Dad addition. Those silly dads. What are they thinking leaving us all like that?! It was cool to hear Jon's stories and to see a picture of his dad who looks just like Jon and his two brothers. Fun.

Overall it was a great evening with oodles of cousin fun, good conversation and yummo in your tummo food, food, food. Love it.

I want candy, well chocolate anyway...

Friday "Eat, Drink, And Be Scary": Today Laura from Better In Bulk wants to see want we are making in the kitchen. Show your devilish desserts, give us the scoop on pumpkins, or share your favorite holiday drink. If cooking isn't your cup of tea, then tell us what you are doing with your leftover Halloween candy. Do you enjoy immediately, save for later, or just bribe your kids with it when needed?
(this is another Flip camera post so link up and try to win one too)




Normally I would be cooking up something Scary in the kitchen, but with my silly foot I won't even be making Halloween decoration soup this year, because I didn't decorate (I always make a yummy squash soup out of my pumpkin and gourd decorations. Waste not want not you know).
So I'll have to refer to the good old standby question: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LEFTOVER HALLOWEEN CANDY?

When I was a kid, candy wasn't as readily available to us as it is to my kids today. Candy was a treat, something to look forward to so we ate it very slowly even keeping our Halloween bags in the freezer so it would stay fresher longer.

Now that I'm older, I don't like candy all that much unless you're talking chocolate. I likes me some chocolate. So if we do have leftover candy I usually will confiscate all of the chocolate for myself then leave the bowl out on the kitchen counter until it's all picked through and gone, often throwing away the few bits left at the bottom of the bowl that nobody likes (I don't mind wasting candy because it is not real food you know).

So there you have it. And because I feel bad for not cooking up anything scary this Halloween I will leave you with a little something SCARY that Marlee cooked up in the kitchen this morning (she really did work on this in the kitchen).

This is how my sweet Marlee, lover of all things Halloween, went to school today. This picture doesn't do it justice. It looks much better in person and oh so SCARY.

Spooky shmooky...

WRITERS WORKSHOP PROMPT:
Show your spooky side
(join in today for another chance to win that great Flip camera)

As far as Halloween goes, here is my spooky side. Way back in 1995 I was a witch getting ready to feast on this scrumptiously plump sweet baby Paige. She was so deliciously chunky (love chunky babies). I must have lured her in with my candy house because all witches have candy houses you know. That's what Waylon told me anyway. He said, "Mom, if you ever see a house made out of candy don't go there. Stay far away from it because witches make their houses out of candy so they can catch you."

Whew, I'm glad he learned that. I certainly wouldn't want him to be caught by a witch.

The reason this is my only spooky picture is because

1) nobody ever takes pictures of the mama and

2) I usually go for the cutesie costumes more than the scary. I know I'm such a girl.

But this year I don't think I'll dress up at all because my foot hurts and I'm stuck on stupid crutches and I'm just not in a festive mood okay (cry me a river you big baby). Unless someone has an awesome idea for a costume that involves a broken foot and crutches. Then and only then I might just get a little excited. In the meantime, I am very fortunate to have a certain Miss Marlee in my life because this girl lives and breathes Halloween. It's her favorite holiday. And she is always spooky with no patience for girly girls on this most ghoulish of nights.

And with her mad skills as a makeup artist, she will be able to save the night, painting up all of her sibs while I sit on my fanny. Boy is she going to be busy.
LOVE THAT GIRL.

A time to remember...

Today the Wordful Wednesday theme over at 7 Clown Circus is~ GHOSTS OF HALLOWEEN PAST
And guess what... if you link in too you'll get another chance at winning that great Flip camera. Woo-hoo!

I didn't mean to take the prompt "Ghosts of Halloween past" so literally but when I saw this picture of my oldest son carving a pumpkin with his grandpa I couldn't help myself. Grandpas can be such an important part of a child's life and Grandpa Turk was one of the best. My children adored him and were quite devastated when we lost him three years ago.


And because their other grandpa died before any of them were born, my kids are missing an important piece of their lives, which can feel really sad at times.

Because of the lose of our dear loved ones I became quite interested in a documentary I saw last year on the Day of the Dead or Dia de los Muertos (I googled that).

If you want to learn more about this celebration you can read about it here.(or google it like I did).
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In this article Carlos Miller explains, "More than 500 years ago, when the Spanish Conquistadors landed in what is now Mexico, they encountered natives practicing a ritual that seemed to mock death.
It was a ritual the indigenous people had been practicing at least 3,000 years. A ritual the Spaniards would try unsuccessfully to eradicate. A ritual known today as Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead. "

The reason I am so interested in this tradition is that it is a time to remember and celebrate our dead. I love, love, love this idea. Again from the article:
"Unlike the Spaniards, who viewed death as the end of life, the natives viewed it as the continuation of life. Instead of fearing death, they embraced it. To them, life was a dream and only in death did they become truly awake."
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I too believe that we continue on after death and I know that my loved ones are in a wonderful place and that we will be reunited someday, which is another reason I love this celebration. Love it.
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The article mentions different ways that the Day of the Dead is celebrated but I really loved this idea:

"In rural Mexico, people visit the cemetery where their loved ones are buried. They decorate gravesites with marigold flowers and candles. They bring toys for dead children and bottles of tequila to adults. They sit on picnic blankets next to gravesites and eat the favorite food of their loved ones."
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We don't live by the gravesites of our loved ones and to my knowledge none of them drank tequila, but I love the idea of having a gathering where we celebrate the lives of our loved ones, eating their favorite foods, telling their favorite stories, singing their favorite songs and just remembering them while teaching our children about their ancestors.
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Did I say I love this? Well I do.
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From what I've read, Dia de los Muertos is celebrated from October 31- November 2 (correct me if I'm wrong) and I so want to start this tradition this year. With my bum foot it will have to be something small and simple, but I look forward to doing this for years to come.
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And if I could talk to my lost loved ones today I'd say, "Look it snowed last night."


Our first snowfall of the year came early, and though I hate the cold I must admit that the snow sure is pretty.

Creepy creations...

Today is "Creepy Crawly Crafts" day: Link up with Mayhem And Moxie by sharing anything you've created this Halloween. Examples include, Halloween costumes, recipes, crafts, party invites, treats, decorations etc...
And if you do you just might win a Flip camera. Woo-hoo!




For my Creepy Crawly Craft I'm sharing my favorite Halloween decoration. I came up with this little lovely last year and it will now be my favorite for all time. Yes it will. I love it for its simplicity, its inexpensitivity, and its oompfinessability (I took creative license on my word choices here so don't worry if you've never heard, read or spelled them before, spell check hasn't either).

All you need are some dollar store vases (cheap) and some dead branches from your yard or the adjoining field as the case may be (free). Throw in a dollar store crow and your good to go. So easy, so cheap, so oompfinessalicious. You really should make your very own version of it today. You really should.

But if this isn't creepy enough for you maybe you'd like to copy my other Creepy Crawly Halloween Creation. I call it...

THE FOOT!

I am so done with this injury. I made the declaration that I would be off of my crutches and walking by the end of this week. That's right you heard me I'm done. But then a simple task like packing school lunches causes my foot to turn this lovely shade of purple, my toes become like little fat juicy smoked sausages, and my ankle throbs and aches, begging for elevation STAT. So it looks like I'll be stuck with the crutches longer than I'd like gosh dang it (of course longer than I'd like happened way back after day one but whatever).

To accomplish this creation all you need is a momentary lack of judgement. But be for warned this project is not easy, oh so very not cheap... but oompfinessalicious?

Hmm, maybe...

It's a great conversation starter to be sure. Yes it is.

So if you're looking for a good conversation piece, especially if you like to have the same conversation over and over and over again, go ahead...

...break yourself this Halloween. It's sure to be your most interesting project yet.