Then I saw the popcorn bowl...

My new book arrived just before Easter. It is a book not only meant to teach me how to live a healthy lifestyle, but an ULTRA healthy life style, a live to 100 lifestyle.
I found the scientific research fascinating, but the diet, well it left a lot to be desired and seemed a very hard thing to stick to.
I mean the very day I decided to give it a try I got invited to the Dog House, and you know I had to have a spicy polish with mustard, onions, sport peppers, jalapenos, and celery salt--I just had to.
The next day it was the baptism of a friend's child followed by a shin-dig with food. I couldn't be rude, I had to eat the hoagies, chips and cake, I just had to.
Then came Easter, yes Easter, and of course this meant a big Easter feast. Not to mention the fact that for some reason that dang Easter bunny always brings MY favorite candy. Why does he do that?
I especially love the chocolate covered marshmallow eggs. LOVE them. I really wanted to eat several dozen of them today, but after my grueling workout I was able, with much force, to stay away from them. It was a proud moment as I discovered that I was the master of my cravings, I would not give in.
But then I saw the POPCORN BOWL, the popcorn bowl that my siblings will recognize as an exact replica of the bowl that brought us childhood treats. I spied it then glanced over at the popcorn kettle that I keep temptingly atop my stove at all times, and said, "Forget it, who wants to live to be 100 anyway?"
So I made some popcorn, complete with butter flavored oil and extra salt, and I ate it all up.
Yes I did.

Goodbye...

I've decided it's not worth the risk.
Farewell to all
My blogging days are over.
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April fools!
(or is it? Hmm...)
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And the Oscar goes to...
ME!
I got Rick really good today. He honestly believed our house was on fire.
Who knew I was such a FABULOUS actress.
Fun.

Worth it?

I barfed under the Christmas tree, showering the canned goods that had been collected by my schoolmates. The perfect attendance award hadn't tempted me before, or since, but in the fifth grade I wanted it, bad enough to ignore my stomach flu and risk humiliation in front of the entire school.

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Later, much later, I regurgitated on my college professors desk. This time it wasn't the contents of my stomach, but my soul. This time it was answers not accolades that I craved and I was willing to risk anything, even public humiliation to get them. I needed help sorting out the lie that had become my life and I didn't care who knew it as long as it could be fixed.

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Now as I "throw up" the contents of my life on these blog pages I sometimes wonder if I put myself at risk for humiliation yet again. Do I say or show too much? Are my thoughts better kept locked safely in my mind or in a private book beside my bed? I often question this and yet I feel drawn, just as I had been to my fifth grade award and college answers, drawn to share my piece of this life experience. I want to tell a little bit of my story, to capture precious family moments, and to occasionally vent about those moments that are not so endearing. I want to help for I have been helped, inspire for I have been inspired, and speak the truths that are so mercifully taught to me each and every day.

I hope I can do this.

And I hope it is worth the risk.

Believe...

I've been troubled lately, deeply distressed. Not about the economy or the like, I've long since handed that weight over to the Lord and boy has he made my burden light, so much so that I fly right up into the heavens each time the subject gets brought up. It's kind of a Pavlov's dogs reaction. I've prayed so often and received such good tidings of great joy that God lives, that he loves and has a perfect plan for me, and that he is still the God of heaven and earth--that when the gloomy bells of the bad economy toll, within moments I remember the comfort that has been offered to me and I REJOICE. Again and again and again, I rejoice.

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Despite this, I've had a very heavy heart. I've worried and worried about a decision I have been trying to make. Worried that I was doing everything WRONG. The what-ifs have taken up residency in my brain, clouding all other thought and understanding.

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I have prayed and prayed, but have refused to be comforted because "what-if"...

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I recently fasted and prayed about the subject and woke up the following day with a new peace and understanding of what I should do, but sadly this didn't last because "what-if I had only imagined the peace because I wanted it so badly?" and "what-if I was still doing everything WRONG and was only pretending that it was okay so I wouldn't have to find the answer?" WHAT-IF, WHAT-IF, WHAT-IF...

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This morning it became too much for me and I cried (I don't cry easily mind you) I cried in the shower because this burden had become too heavy and I just didn't know what to do. I thought that I should probably ask Rick for a blessing and I mentioned to the Lord that if I could just hear the words that the peace and comfort I had felt were real and that I shouldn't be afraid, I would know once and for all what to do. I then quickly apologized for telling him what to say to me and told him that I would accept any counsel he desired to give me.

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After my shower I was drawn to my scriptures. I opened to where I had left off in 2 Nephi and began to read. Led away by an interesting foot note, I found myself in D&C for a time, all the while feeling that I should return to 2 Nephi. Not wanting to leave D&C, I ignored that feeling and kept reading until one of my kids came in to ask me something. Looking back down at my scriptures I noticed that I had somehow lost my place in D&C and had turned back to 2 Nephi, chapter 8 to be exact, so I continued my reading there. And that's when the Lord spoke to me in verse 12. He spoke the very words I had pleaded to hear:

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I am he; yea, I am he that comforteth you. Behold, who art thou, that thou shouldst be afraid...

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And again,

I REJOICE.

Priceless discoveries...

How much is a comfy nights sleep worth?

I would have thought that my answer to this question would be "any amount" or "priceless" but I have learned that I don't want to fork out anything for it. I do not want to pay to sleep. I just don't. I've been trying for days to book a hotel but I just can't make myself do it. I can't part with over $100 just to sleep. Do you know what kind of shoes...um, I mean food storage I could buy with $100? It pains me. It really does. Couldn't we just sleep in our car for a night? Or better yet, we could just stay up and party til dawn. I'd rather spend $100 partying til dawn than on some stinky hotel.

Do you know of any late night hot spots that welcome children?

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I'm feeling all around bummed today. I miss my city. The kids and I watched John and Kate plus 8 this morning (I DVRed it last night because the previews made it look like they were headed for divorce and I was very concerned for their welfare, but it was just a teaser and all is well (ish). Whew!) and watching Kate take her kids all over to various museums made me feel so sad.

The kids and I talked about all of our favorite "going to the museum" memories and we just miss it. We miss those activities and as far as I can tell there is nothing like that here.

I know that if I used my creativity and cleverness I could make fun for my children. I could set up arts and crafts centers, water tables, play villages, and puppet theaters, but there is something magical about going to a museum to explore the works of others.

I love the paintings and the sculptures, the intricate bead work and the crazy art made from recycled junk. I love to witness the dreams of others come alive in 3-D.

I love that we were made to dream, imagine and create. Discovering the talents of others makes me every bit as warm and fuzzy as when I discover them within myself.

And making these discoveries with my children is all the better--worth any amount, priceless even.

Perhaps I'll go ahead and book that hotel now.

Because time and money will forever slip away,

but memories...

Now those are something I can hold on to.

Fun and Fancy Free...

What do you do when you fall off a bike, even when that fall is broken by a fire hydrant to the chest (remember that one Heidi?), well you get right back on of course. And so it must be with this lovely blog of mine. I have been absent from it for so long that I feel as though I no longer know how to "ride".

I'm feeling a little mushy in the brain these days when it comes to writing, and preparing my lesson too for that matter. I'm teaching on Sunday and here it is Thursday night without so much as an outline. I've read the lesson a couple of times and contemplated it often, but no plan, no outline, not good.

After feeding the kids a nutritious meal of frozen pizza and or Ramen tonight (the hubs is working late and who cooks a big meal when they're not trying to impress the sugar daddy I'd like to know) I announced that I would be in my room working on my lesson. So I lied. I lied to my children. But that's okay because I hear them listening to songs on YouTube instead of doing their homework so we're even.

And yes it is close to 9:00 and my younger kids are still awake, quietly watching a movie in hopes that Mom won't notice it's bedtime while she works on "her lesson".

It is a Ramen noodle, YouTube in place of homework, movie instead of bed, blog before lesson kind of day~ AND I LOVE IT.

Spring break starts next week and I guess I've already caught the lets be carefree and irresponsible bug. Perhaps we'll even start our holiday early and skip school tomorrow (ROWDY). Oh wait I forgot, we've already used up the allotted number of sick days being SICK so I guess we'll have to stick it out for one more (half) day.

Then it's a week of carefree days for all.

I can't wait.

Sick and Crazy...

My life is very sick and crazy right now. Sick kids, crazy torn up house. There is stuff everywhere. You'd think we were moving or something but we're not. Just a lot of projects going on right now (I'll try to post about that later) and because of sick kids the projects are going very, very slowly.
This is the first time I've turned on my computer in nearly a week. Crazy.
Anyway I just wanted to post a quick note to let you know that I'm alive and I hope to get back to blogging soon.
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Oh and Missy, I couldn't get the email address you gave me to work so I am banned from your blog. So if you read this please let me know how to contact you. Thanks.

19 years...

Today we celebrate 19 years.

19 ever so incredible years.

.....

On Saturday we celebrated by taking a day trip to Flagstaff where we had an amazing time.
And on this our official day we went to my mother-in-law's for dinner and family night (very nice) and when we got into our car to come home
OUR SONG WAS PLAYING ON THE RADIO.
Our very song, on the radio, the minute we turned on the car. How cool is that.
I guess that proves it,
we were meant to be.
But then we already knew that.

A wardrobe malfunction for my ward...

I wore this simple black dress to church today.

The picture of modesty in sleeve, hem and neck.

UNTIL...

Until, forgetting that this is a wrap around dress I walked into

the oh so windy outdoors and with a sudden whoosh

FLASHED

the entire parking lot.

Yes I did.

And to make matters worse,

in direct view of my wardrobe malfunction

were two full time missionaries innocently heading into church.

Yes, I flashed the missionaries

along with various men, women and children from my ward.

I did have a slip on (thank heavens) but still,

did I really want to be spied by all wearing only a slip?

NO.

No I didn't.

So now I know that wrap around dresses

and oh so windy small towns

do not work well together.

NO.

No they don't.

True romance...

Tuesday, February 10th ~

I think it would be romantic to...

***************

I think it would be romantic to have a husband who, while I am out of town for the day, cleans the entire house spotless, gives the kids the best day of their lives, and helps them write sweet cards for my return.

Oh wait, I do have a husband like that.

Now that's TRUE romance baby.

Waylon went to sleep with my card in his hands because he didn't want it to get lost.

There is seriously nothing cuter to come home to.

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.

.

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*************************************************************
It is also very romantic to have a husband to take care of me when I'm sick.

Strep throat struck me yesterday and Rick, as usual, has taken such good care of me.

Ro-man-tic!

I want fabulous...

I've heard it said time and again whether it be spoken by one who is 40, 60, or 80, "I don't feel old. Inside I feel as young as a child." Which might explain why I have chosen to mark my progress into ultimate adulthood with the foil star reward system of childhood.
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I am very excited about my ever nearing passage to that oh so grown up number 40. I feel that when I reach it I will have arrived. Where exactly I do not know, but I'm excited just the same. But I don't want to "arrive" simply as a one day older version of my 39 year old self, I want to be fabulous. The most fabulous 40 I can be. This is where my new chart comes in.

My fabulous by 40 chart. A countdown to my new age and my new fabulousness.

Each day of the month has been sectioned off into four categories.

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Spiritual~ study scriptures and other inspiring works

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Physical~ exercise (yuck)

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Temporal~ household and other such goals

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Personal~ for me this means write, write, write

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So far my chart is working very well. I've become quite obsessed with earning those stars. Today I went to play group and didn't get all of my temporal goals done so after dinner I told Rick that I had to finish vacuuming the upstairs. He told me that it would wait for me to do it tomorrow. "But if I wait until tomorrow I won't get a star for today." I told him.

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This may seem silly but you must realize that the whole reason for me having this chart is that I am very much a wait til tomorrow kind of girl. So if I don't monitor myself my tomorrows will all pass by and I'll reach 40 without being fabulous and what fun would that be?

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Because of my chart I have exercised everyday, I have studied my scriptures everyday and Yes, I did vacuum the upstairs tonight.

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Look out 40 here I come

And you can bet your foil stars

it's going to be fabulous!

True love...

In honor of Valentine's Day this months Spts will focus on the significant other in our lives...

Tuesday, February 3rd ~ I love it when you...

Tuesday, February 10th ~ I think it would be romantic to...

Tuesday, February 17th ~ The first thing that attracted me to you was...

Tuesday, February 24th ~ I am saying "I love you" when I...

************************************************************

I love it when you...

I couldn't get a picture with my love today, but here I am holding one of his work shirts because he is my favorite sign guy. I love it when he helps me out with his sign making skills.


Like when I called him last week and asked him to bring home these "fabulous by 40" letters for my new goal chart (I'll post about that tomorrow).
I also love that he is so supportive of all of my ideas. Such as my new fabulous by 40 goal chart. And that when I tell him things like I want to be fabulous by my fortieth birthday he says, "You are already fabulous. If you get any more fabulous I won't know what to do."
I love it when he flatters me so.
And oh does he flatter me so.

I love it when he calls me during the day, when he comes home at night, when he compliments my cooking, my cleaning, my legs, my life. What can I say, this man loves me. And I LOVE the way he loves me.
And you know what, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM TOO.
How did I get so lucky?

He struck gold...

That's right, Mr. Landon is a gold medalist.
He won gold in the Arts category
at the Arizona Regional Academic Decathlon today.
Not too bad for someone who only took the class because he needed another elective.
Not bad at all.
Way to go Lando!

When life gives you chocolate chips...

I heard Waylon cry and I wanted to cry right along with him. It's just been one of those days. I went out to check on him and found he and Jamie fighting over a stick. Ahh, the sibling dispute. The very cause of my very bad day.

Now that my siblings and I are all grown most of our rivalries are limited to the occasional spousal pillow-talk where silly annoyances are whispered then forgotten. But today "The One", the one whose fallen life must constantly be put back together, yanked on my stick yet again and this time, this time I pulled back.

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"Whoever lets go of the stick first gets a treat." I called out to my fighting babies. Bad parenting? Maybe. But it was too cold to stay out and discuss the importance of sharing. Jamie promptly stood up "I want a treat." She beamed.

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"Wait here. I'll get you one." My promise loomed over me as I searched the pantry. No treats. Now what? A small chocolate chip filled Dixie cup would have to do. How my offering would be received depended entirely upon the expectations of the excited girl outside. If she expected a plate of cookies my chips might not be enough to please her.

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I thought of "The One", the one who fights and exhausts me with her constant pulling. I fear she will never be able to offer more than simple chocolate chips. How I receive them will depend entirely upon my expectations. If I expect cookies she will never be enough and I will never be happy.

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Jamie accepted my simple gift with a smile and I knew that I must smile too. I must accept "The One's" chocolate chip offering for I have been given the tools to turn them into cookies.

Cookies for us to share.

Much better...

I love antibiotics!

I never thought I'd say that--

but yesterday these kids were DYING,

seriously miserable,

and now

well...

Just look at them!