Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My once upon a time...

I am a storyteller. It’s what I love, part of who I am. Sometimes it surprises me, when the words flow out, “Who said that?” I wonder.

I am a storyteller. So when I blog I have a hard time making simple statements like, “Hey, guess what… my closets are really messy and I need to clean them.” Or, “My house is really depressing me right now and I don’t know what to do.” I bring it to you in story form because that sets my writing gene heart (from my grandma) all a twitter. It brings me joy.

I am a storyteller. But all of my stories are true. They all come from actual events that have shaped my life. I put myself into every word, which is why I sometimes feel uneasy about what I share.

I wish that wasn’t so. I wish I didn’t worry about it at all. Because truth be told, I would love nothing more than to be able to share my entire life story with you, every word, every event. Because it is a good story, a story that has brought me to this time of strength and happiness, a story of faith and hope.

If I felt like it wasn’t too much to share, I’d tell you that I have had a deep love for my Savior my entire life. I seem to have been born with it and it has never left me. But with this deep love and conviction came much opposition in my life, Satan has been tireless in his desire to destroy me. I would tell you that if I could.

If it wasn’t too much, I’d tell you that there were times that I suffered bitterly because of this opposition. I’d even share with you the dark hour of my eighteenth year when, with razor in hand, I locked myself in the bathroom ready to bid farewell to my pain. I would tell you that hopelessness had brought me to that state, but that I was spared when my parents returned home from the store at the very moment they needed to, and that hearing my Dad’s voice from the kitchen brought me to my knees. I could never hurt him that way.

I’d share with you, if it wasn’t too much, that through all of my trials my Savior has never forgotten me. He has fought for me and I have clung to His strength. I would tell you that it is because of His atoning sacrifice that I am here today, that it is because of Him the title of my blog is Bliss, and that because of Him I am full of hope and thanksgiving. He helps me through my darkest trials and daily stumbles. He makes me whole.

If I could I would tell you to have joy today and hope for tomorrow.
Because if I had given up on my tomorrows…
Just look what I would have missed.



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18 comments:

Housewife Savant said...

What a lovely testimony.

Stacie's Madness said...

wow, look at that big beautiful family!!!

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

You are truly blessed. A beautiful post...

Jessica said...

Thank you again for yet another beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your joys AND your pains. It makes you more of a real person and more easy for us (readers) to connect with you. I love your storytelling. It's one of the reasons I like to read your blog!

Molly said...

You have a beautiful family! I was just reading through alot of your post. You are hilarious!
BTW, I too have a bum thyroid since my pregnancy, and hate that I have to take meds FOREVER!

Life with Kaishon said...

What a beautiful family : ) I can't stop smiling. Thanks for the blessing today! And bring on the stories! I love stories : )

Lene said...

Amen.

Now will someone please pass the Kleenex.

cewmont said...

Great post! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

supah ~d said...

I had goosebumps reading the entire thing. Then I almost wept when I scrolled to your pic.

We just had a gunman shoot 3 woman and injure 9 others 20 minutes from my home last night. .. I dont' know why... but your post made me see that horrific situation .. in all kinds of light.
d

kirsty815 said...

Wow that was a very personal thing to share and a wonderful message behind it. Thanks! You have a gorgeous family!

Happy said...

What a beautifully written post. It can take a lot to bare your heart and soul to the world. I admire your bravery in doing so.

And what a beautiful family! I'm glad you are here to enjoy them!

Marcie said...

How inspirational. What a beautiful and well-earned testimony. Once again, I am amazed by you.

Kat said...

Beautiful. Beautiful. :)

The Cranes said...

I didn't know it had ever been that hard for you. What a great cousin I am! (I guess when you live hundreds of miles apart it can be difficult to know.) I'm glad you made it through because I would have been extremely upset if you hadn't. I've always known you've had a testimony, but it is wonderful to hear it once again. Your writing is so beautiful. Love you!

Darce said...

Wow! Yah, please pass me the kleenex, too!

Anonymous said...

Finally, I can get a copy of this picture. Beautiful family. Lovely testimony. (I'm just wondering why is it always Dad that you couldn't hurt. Moms get hurt too)

Shellie said...

For every 18 year old out there, just hang on! I'm so glad you did, so glad your dad was there, so glad you didn't miss any of that...

4boyzmdmom said...

I'm just getting caught up on blogs after being away for a week. This is an amazing post. I also had no idea things got that difficult for you, but as others have said...I'm glad you got through it! I share your feelings about wishing you could tell the whole story. Wow, do I have some amazing stories to tell...but they'll never be heard because they're too personal, and would invade the privacy of others close to me. Those difficult times helped me to discover a testimony of the Savior that I didn't realize I had...so I'm grateful for them. Thanks for sharing this post...it is beautiful!