Thoughts on General Conference...

It was another great conference weekend. The talks always give me the boost I need to go forward and try harder in my life. Before conference started, I prayed that I would hear the messages that I needed the most at this time in my life. I forgot to take notes during the Saturday sessions (can't wait for the Ensign articles) but I did take notes today and I want to share a few of the points that I wrote down.

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~ Succor, strengthen, lift feeble knees
~ Focus outwardly/ lose self in service
~ Blessings come through obedience
~ Prayers are answered in the wisdom and timing of the Lord
~ The Lord will help us manage our resources
~ Delight in the things of the Lord
~ Delight in your role as a nurturer
~ We don't know the rest of our stories
~ Be worthy of God's delight
~ Wear out life in the service of the Lord
~ Seek personal revelation
~ Sweetest experience is to feel the Lord's promptings
~ Live worthy of inspiration
~ Homes should be sanctuaries where the spirit dwells
~ Ask in faith then-- ACT
~ Let us not be men pleasers but true servers of God
~ God has not given us the spirit of fear...
~ Fortify ourselves in Jesus Christ
~ To prosper in this time, spiritual light must burn within us
~ Live courageously
~ The person we are when we depart this life is the same person
. we will be when we enter the next
~ Joy comes in moments... Live in the moment
~ Cultivate gifts and interests
~ incorporate faith, love and counsel into your life

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This is just a small portion of what I learned today. I feel edified, uplifted and excited to continue down my life's path. I know that God lives. I know that my Savior Jesus Christ lives and that if I stay close to them and hold fast to their teachings I will have joy. President Monson reminded us that we are at war against sin, but that it is a war that we can and will win. I know that I will win the war waged against me and that my family will win if we fortify ourselves in Christ. Just as Sister Tanner remarked, I too Glory in my Jesus.

Dream shoes?

I've had many interesting dreams in my life--strange, scary, magical, exciting, thrilling, even steamy. Then there are dreams that have actually taught me something or allowed me to talk to my loved ones who are not here anymore, those are my favorite. I love to analyze dreams. It's fun to try to figure out what they all mean, but for the life of me I cannot figure out why I had a dream about these shoes. A dream about shoes--not so hard to figure out, I love shoes, but why did I dream about these particular shoes?
It happened Friday night as I slept at my mom's house in "the valley". I dreamt that I went to DSW shoes (the greatest shoe store ever, I'm salivating just thinking about it) and walked back to the clearance section (DSW has the best clearance section--the only thing better than shoes are shoes on sale). I looked through all of the shoes then found a cute pair of white shoes with black trim, almost identical to the shoes pictured above. I bought them and we lived happily ever after.
Saturday morning I woke up early to go to yard sales, heaven, and didn't give my dream another thought. Until...
We were out shopping and Rick said, "Do you want to go to DSW?"
"I really shouldn't." was my reply, but from the backseat my clone Paige was saying, "Yes, yes, yes. We want to go to DSW!"
So I said, "Well maybe I could just go look around for a little bit."
Paige and I oohed and ahhed at all of the shoes on our way back to the clearance section, then the hunt began. I tried on so many cute shoes it hurt (I wanted them all). Then deja vu, the shoes from my dream. I tried to put them down, but they kept calling me back. When Rick came over from Circuit City to see if I was ever coming out, I showed him the shoes and said, "I had a dream about these last night."
He said, "That's a good one. I haven't heard that one before." I told him I was serious. I really had dreamt about them. So I bought them (they were on clearance after all) but it's too early to say if we will live happily ever after.
But I'm still trying to figure out why I dreamt about them. If I had seen white shoes with black trim before it would be understandable, but to my knowledge I have never seen shoes like these. I've never aspired to have shoes like these. So what the heck? Does it mean something? Please give me your best analysis. I'd love to know.
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Now here's a nightmare. This is how Jamie woke up for church Sunday morning. She fell asleep while playing with silly putty on the way home from "the valley" Saturday night. Good times.

Milestones...

My scanner isn't working so I couldn't get any pictures of my diapered bottom babies, but here's my Waylon at crawling age.

While reflecting about the fact that Landon is 17 now and about how fast time goes by, I remembered a poem that I recently wrote. It won 2nd place in a contest, but even with that I still get nervous about sharing my writing. But since it expresses how I feel about life and motherhood, especially now with my kids growing up, I'll go ahead and share it.

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Milestones

Diapered bottom crawling past.
I’m saddened that these days won’t last.
I smile before my first tear lands.
With each milestone shared my love expands.

Diapered bottom to toddling steps,
Understanding to greater depths.
New foods explored, new words conveyed,
First haircut, first lost tooth, first school day.

Team sports and concerts, new talents to cheer.
More time on the phone and in front of the mirror.
Bike rides to car keys, cooties to prom—
Cherished moments continue on.

College, career, marriage to friend,
New love, new home, a new life begins.
Life’s milestones come full circle at last
As a diapered bottom again crawls past.

Birthday boy...

Happy Birthday to the greatest kid a mom could ask for. I'm so blessed to have him in my life. 17! How could he be 17? I was just 17 yesterday--wasn't I? Time goes by so fast. Scoop your kids up into your arms before they're big enough to scoop up you.

Easter...

We had a wonderful Easter Sunday. The kids looked beautiful and we were able to listen to uplifting music and touching testimonies of our Lord and Savior at church. We shared Easter lunch with Rick's mom then went over to my brother Lynn's house for an Easter egg hunt and dinner. It is Lynn's birthday today so we celebrated that too. We had a great time and feel heartbroken that Lynn and his family might be moving away soon. We will miss them so much.

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I would like to express my gratitude for the atoning sacrifice of my Savior Jesus Christ. I cannot fully comprehend His level of selflessness and love, but I rejoice everyday because of it. He literally saved my life. All that I am today, my life, my marriage, those six amazing children pictured above--I owe all of it to Him. He is my Lord and my King and I praise and thank Him this Easter day.

Happy to be me...

Writer's digest had an article about blogging and one of the tips it shared was that friends don't let friends blog drunk. In other words be aware of your state of mind when your blogging. Well I just got back from a hot date with my man (yes I dressed up--black heels instead of red this time) and I was just thinking about how wonderful my life is. I started this blog at a very difficult time in my life and I'm afraid that some of my posts might reflect that. I was at a YW leadership meeting last night and one of the points they made is that when things are really hard it is often because we are on the right path and Satan is trying desperately to stop our progress. I must be on the yellow brick road itself because Satan has been on me, peck, peck, pecking at the back of my head non stop lately. It's been a challenge, but I am not easily defeated. I never give up without a fight and if something is wrong in my life I find a way to fix it. I need to express my gratitude for how richly blessed I am. Just as the title of my blog says, my life is bliss. I'm not normally a gloomy gus. I'm an optimistic, glass is half full kind of a girl who loves my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ and has a testimony that this truly is a great plan of happiness. And my life has been so happy. Everything I have wished for my life has come true. This move has definitely been a stumbling block, but I can also name many wonderful blessing that have come from it, like reconnecting with family and making new friendships that I cherish. So please forgive my sob stories and therapeutic Ah-ha moments when I discover that I'm not quite as tough as I like myself and everyone else to believe. I'm human, I'm vulnerable, I'm alive--how glorious that is. My life is beautiful and I'm happy to be me.

Dream crushers...

Now I have another reason to hate Walmart. While my younger 3 kids and I were driving to pick up my junior high girls from school there was a commercial from Walmart on the radio. They were talking about all of the different kinds of yummy Easter candy and then the "mom" in the commercial proceeded to say that with Walmart's great prices she could afford to put more in her kids' Easter baskets. I hurried and turned the station hoping that the kids hadn't caught on to what she had just said. I have at least one little one who is on the verge of losing her connection with that magical world of creatures who bring sleepless excitement. I know she is going to learn "the truth", it's inevitable, but does Walmart really have to be so careless? Let the kids have their dreams as long as they can. I was only 7 when I found out and it was quite devastating. My sister overheard a phone conversation that our mom was having on the subject and of course she had to come tell me right away (we shared everything). It was earth shattering. Luckily the kids didn't seem to notice, but then again, Easton is so introspective that she might be quietly pondering the whole idea right now. Curse you Walmart. (I guess I'd better not say that, it's the only store I have up here.)

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Speaking of yummy candy, Jamie had an Easter egg hunt at school today. She brought home some Hershey's kisses and said, "Yuck, these have white stuff in them." I looked and saw that they were coconut. I love coconut and since Jamie hates it I got the whole stash. They were pretty good, but the best kiss I ever had (Hershey's kiss that is) was dark chocolate raspberry. Yum! My mom had them in her little candy dish the last time I was there. They were special valentine ones so I guess I'll have to wait until next February before I can have some more. Sadness. So what's your favorite kiss?

Happy Birthday Heidi...

Heidi___________________ Me

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Not our most glamorous day. We were hanging out at a picnic with my extended Johnson family. Love our little Micky Mouse cowboy hats, but hate my hair. The summer after my sophomore year I shaved the sides and back of my hair (gotta love those crazy 80s) and I spent the rest of my high school career trying to grow it back out. I believe this picture was taken my junior year at Easter time.

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In the new April issue of O magazine (yes I bought it. It's my first one I swear) there is a whole section devoted to friendship. Well my very best, bestest friend from high school and beyond was Heidi Smith. (we used to go dancing--my favorite--and when we'd meet guys and tell them our names were Heidi Smith and Jeanette Johnson, they'd tell us that if we were going to make up names we should get more creative). Anyway we were peas in a pod, inseparable, until we got married and busy and lost our crazy, fun connection. But I still love her and will always consider her my dearest friend. So here's a happy birthday shout out to my friend Heidi. Now we're the same age (in numbers) until August when I will be older once again (I know, I know I'm always older, but right now you can't tell because our numbers are the same) I talked to her today and no matter how long we go between visits, we always pick up where we left off and talk forever. Man did we have some good times together. Maybe my next book should be-- Contempo Confidential, The True Confessions of Jeanette and Heidi--but then again it would probably only be funny to us. And embarrassing? Please...

I love being a girl...

I went to Walmart today. I hate Walmart. It's too big and I had to walk all over creation just to try to find things (I say try because they so often do not have what I need). So what do I do? I wear my ginormously high red espadrilles to walk all over creation in. Why would I do such a thing? I even told myself to wear my flip flops, you'll be much happier in your flip flops I said, but I couldn't resist my girly red shoes. I just love being a girl. I can't help myself, it is so much fun. I even did my hair flipped up instead of under today (does doing your hair like a Charley's Angel count for creativity?) When we first moved here one of my great disappointments was that the first time Rick and I went out to eat together, I was the only one in the joint that had dressed up. I love getting dressed up for a hot date with my man--is that so wrong? I know this must come from years of watching my gorgeously, flawless mother. I can't think of a time when she wasn't completely put together. I love that about her. I can only hope to age as beautifully as she has. (please, please tell me I got those genes) And my sister...please, she makes me look like a shlumpadinka. I love my family, I love my shoes, and I love being a girl. (But I still hate Walmart)

Creativity deprived...

I was editing my book this morning and loving it. Much like Ralphie from A Christmas Story, I thought-- wow this is pretty good and daydreamed of an editor from Random House dancing around her office writing A+++ on everything. Then of course the little devil of doubt had to come along and spoil everything. He landed on my shoulder and started scoffing "Who are you kidding? You stink." Just before throwing the whole manuscript into the fire, I decided it would be better to take a break from it while waiting for the devil to get bored and go away. Since I was already on my computer I decided to check out some blogs. I ended up blog hopping onto the site of someone I didn't know because her blog was recommended by someone I did know-- and let me just say, she is a creative genius. I was in awe of her talents. Looking at her blog got me itching for a creative outlet of my own. I haven't done anything creative in so long. No wonder I'm on the verge of insanity and suffering a serious case of writer's block. I'm creativity deprived. I'm drowning in monotony. I'm not a girl who does well with monotony. I even have to make up fun little games and challenges to get my housework done. Pathetic I know. I need to build something, or paint, or refinish, or re-cover. My favorite gifts have always been power sanders, or staple guns, giant folding ladders, or a laser leveler (now that was something special) and there is nothing quite like paint encrusted fingernails to make you feel alive.
The lady whose blog I admired is more of a Martha Stewart creative genius and I love that. I would love to do all of those cutesie, fun things, but that takes creativity and organization and sadly I am not organized. I am more of the deranged artist creative type, working in a psychotic flurry while the world falls down around me until-- ta-da, my masterpiece is born. But that's okay, I don't have to be Martha Stewart, I just have to be creative. So tell me, have you done anything creative today?

MORP...

This cake was delivered to our front door. We read the message and thought, "Where's the book?" After cutting through the cake we discovered that the second layer was actually a phone book.

Landon followed the clues in the book to spell out his mystery date's name. Very cute idea.

Landon went to Morp last night with a girl from his physics class. Yesterday was a half day at school so they spent the rest of the day in Holbrook with a group of friends where they had a barbecue, pie eating contest and whipped cream fight. After coming home to get ready, they went out to eat then on to the dance. It sounded like a great time. Ahhh, school dances. Boy do I have some memories there. (How is it that I have a son old enough to go now?) Good times.

True confessions of a slacker mom...

Easton has been telling me for over a week now that she had a science fair project due. Since I never saw a paper about it I kept brushing it off, thinking that I would help her with it as soon as I got the information. She kept saying, "Mom I think my project is due on Friday." I said I didn't think so because Friday is a half day. Well this morning I was going through some papers on my dresser when low and behold I found a paper that said science fair project due Thursday March 13. Oops! I felt so bad because it was clearly my fault that she didn't get it done. So I ran out to the kitchen and said, "Somebody think of a really quick science project!" Landon came up with the idea to test the differences between the heartbeats of a person, a dog, and a guinea pig. I grabbed some colored cardstock and told Easton to quickly draw some pictures of Landon, Jack (our dog), and Clover (our guinea pig). While she did that I ran around looking for something that we could use for the display board. Jackpot! We still had the large cardboard box from our new dryer. I cut off a chunk of it and folded it into a board. Landon helped Easton check all of the heartbeats then we typed up her findings, printed them out and slapped everything on the board with some doublestick tape. Whew! We did all of this, including getting everyone ready for school, in about 30 minutes. Can anyone top that procrastination story?

Concussion?

Yesterday Waylon fell off of the kitchen bench and landed headfirst on the hardwood floor. About an hour later he became very lethargic and started throwing up. He put his head in his hands and cried that his head hurt then he fell asleep and refused to wake up. I called the doctor and they told me to take him to the ER. He threw up several more times at home, in the car and at the hospital. When the triage nurse saw how out of it he was she sent him straight back to be examined. The doctor ordered a CT scan and they gave him some medicine to stop the vomiting. Just as they were taking him to xray the nurse gave him some stickers and he yelled out in excitement, "Look I got a pooh bear!" It was his first sign of life all morning and I was thinking, ok never mind I think he's fine now. And sure enough the CT scan came back normal. He just had a mild concussion. Oh well, better safe than sorry. Rick and I joked, "Well that could have paid for a trip to Disneyland." Or Disney World as the case may be. I'm not familiar with just how much a CT scan costs, but we'll be finding out soon. There are many wonderful perks to being self employed, health insurance not being one of them. The important thing is that Waylon is still his happy, healthy self. We are very blessed and for this I am grateful.

Perfect performances...

Rick and I enjoyed watching Marlee and Paige perform last night at their Jr High music concert. (Thank you Landon for keeping the little ones at home). Marlee opted out of choir this year, but she did great on the guitar. Paige performed with the choir and band. She's a percussionist and it was so fun to watch her play those drums. She was the only one on the snare and cymbals so it was like watching her perform a solo the whole time. A little nerve racking until I realized how smooth and together she was. She wasn't rattled a bit and she did an excellent job. She's not her mother's child on that one. I would have passed out with fear. I do great under pressure as long as it doesn't involve people watching me. (Except for public speaking, for some reason I don't mind public speaking--weird.) When my kids perform, I think I take on all of the pressure for them. When I'd meet Rick for one of Landon's baseball games and he'd say, "Landon's pitching today, isn't that cool." I'd think, no not cool because now I get to have a stomachache the whole game. And I was biting my fingernails the whole season while Landon played goalie for his high school soccer team. Rick would say "Man I wish they'd get the ball down the field so Landon could get some more action." And I'd be thinking, no please keep it completely away from our side of the field. I guess there's a reason I was never involved in sports.

The truth will set you free...

We had a wonderful time in the valley over the weekend. (I never called it the "valley" before moving here, but when in Rome...) I went down for a writer's conference that lasted all day Saturday. Rick and the kids had fun at the zoo while I was gone. All but Landon, who spent the weekend hanging out with his "valley" friends. The conference was amazing. I'm so glad I went. Because I belong to an LDS writer's group I not only gained great insight as a writer, but I also was spiritually fed as well. I've definitely been inspired and even worked on my novel for over an hour today. Probably the greatest advice I got was from an author whose good friend told her, "Just write the stupid book!" I know I need to quit over thinking and just write the stupid book. Actually it's already written so I need to just edit and revise the stupid book. I was also told that to be a good writer I need to read, read, read. Hooray! I have a good excuse to curl up with a book everyday---I'm working. Another principle we discussed is how truth is full of light, peace and joy. Truth does not leave us feeling sad, empty or depressed. For every lie there is an opposite truth. So if Satan tells me the lies that I'm not good enough, that I can't do it, that I'm not of worth. There is an opposite truth that I am amazing, capable and of infinite worth. The lies fill me with darkness, the truth with light. It's a simple concept, but it holds such power. Satan never wants us to realize just how glorious we are. He wants to keep us trapped in his lies, but if we'll seek the spirit of truth we'll know that we are worth so much more than we ever imagined.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go work on my stupid book.