Monday, April 27, 2009

Good enough for ME...

I’ve recently struggled with feelings of wanting to trade myself in for someone better, just as we did with our old run down Suburban three years ago. We took it down to the car lot and presto, came home with a beautiful new Sequoia. Other than the hefty new payment to go with it, it was a fairly simple trade.

So I thought it would be nice to have a people lot to go to, a place to swap lives, to become someone new. I was leaning toward the Carrie Underwood model for beauty.

Not that she is the only beautiful person in the world, there are many others I could choose just as well, but seeing her in an interview a couple of weeks ago, I became jealous of her glowiness. The girl is radiantly beautiful and I want that too. I want to glow Carrie Underwood. I want to glow. What's your secret?

Then there’s Kristin Chenoweth in the personality department. I love her bubbly cuteness. She oozes joy, she oozes fun. I want to ooze joy and fun. I want to walk into a room and be the loud, cute, happy, fun one. Teach me to be you Kristin Chenoweth. Please, I want to be bubbly too.
Shall we pause a moment to notice that both of my models are also great singers. I don’t think this is an accident. I’ve always wanted to be a great singer, but I’m not. Why can’t I be a great singer too? Why?

For all have not every gift given unto them;
For there are many gifts, and to every man
[and woman] is given a gift by the spirit of God.
To some is given one, and to some is given another,
That all may be profited thereby.
D&C 46: 11-12
Well Carrie, I guess you can keep your beauty, and Kristin your super awesome bubbliness because it turns out that I am me, just the way I am, for a very important reason.
I have been given my own personal combination of gifts and challenges so that I can accomplish what I have come to this earth to do.
I was not chosen to be radiantly beautiful or endearingly cute and bubbly because those traits were not right for my test, my experience, and frankly that’s not me and never was. I believe that I have had this personality since my existence began (I’m talking pre-earth life) this is who I am, who I’ve always been.
After all, if we were all the loud, cute, bubbly type, just think how obnoxious the parties would become. I mean, who would be left to serve the jello salad or be the adoring audience?
We have to be different so “that all may be profited thereby”.
I will always admire beautiful, radiant, bubbly, fun, talented people, but that doesn’t mean that I have to dislike myself in the process.
I was meant to be the quiet, introspective, reflective type. The one that ponders and shares, that listens and loves.
This is me.

And all I need to focus on is becoming
the best me possible.

And today the best me possible just wants to get this pile of clean laundry put away.

It’s getting ridiculous.


"Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken." ~Oscar Wilde


Wayne said...

Intresting post, I think that somtimes life can be so hard and it seems like everything is a uphill strugle, but keep the faith and you will make it, you are who you are be proud of who you are.

Bren's Life said...

Good point. I like that point..

4boyzmdmom said...

I think one of the hardest things we do in this life is learn to see the talent and goodness that is in ourselves, not just in other people. I can remember wanting to be like you when we were growing up! (And when I read your blog, I still see things in you that I admire, and think "I wish I were more like that!") I love this post because you are right--we all have our strengths for a reason!

PS--I've always thought of you as beautiful, fun, and talented as well as reflective and loving!

Anonymous said...

I've always thought you were beautiful, wonderful and talented just as you are. I fell in loved with you even before you were born, but then there you were, that beautiful, DARK haired baby in my arms. I may be the Mother, but you are my idol. I love reading your deep thoughts.

Herbsgirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss Risa's House said...

Im so happy that your blogging again! I feel the same feelings as mom! well the beautiful talented and your deep thoughts as well! your the best my baby sister!

Lacie E. said...

this was such a great post I am trying to be more comfortable in my own that something we are always working on????