Monday, October 5, 2009

Why not...

"My mother taught me some basic philosophies of rearing children. One is that you have to trust them. I tried hard never to say "no" if I could possible say "yes" I think that worked well because it gave my children the feeling that I trusted them and they were responsible to do the best they could."
~ Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I'm not a perfect parent that's for sure (is there such a thing?) But one thing I have tried to do in my parenting is to choose my battles. My children know that I do not bend when it comes to obeying the commandments of God. They know of my conviction to be a moral, kind, honest person and that personal integrity is very important to me. They know that I'm using my time on this earth to try to become the best me possible and I have testified to them that it is through the Lord Jesus Christ that I will be able to accomplish this. They know these truths and to my delight as their mother, they are trying to live this way too.

My children have powerful testimonies of God and the Savior and they are good, kind-hearted, selfless people that make me proud everyday. I feel so blessed and privileged to get to share my life with them.
So on occasion when they decide that they want to look like this...

I don't fret. In fact I like it. I mean why not have blue hair if the mood strikes you

An asymmetrical "Cyndi Lauper" do or purple and platinum style can be fun too. Why not I say, why not?
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I try to say "yes" so that my "no's" will mean something. I try to teach and testify whenever I can and I try to let my kids know that I am a safe place to come when they need to talk. If they say, "Man, I really wish I could get a tattoo." I don't freak out or lecture, I say, "Of course you do. Why wouldn't you. Everyone else has one and some of them look really cool." But I remind them that our bodies are sacred and that we have been counseled to treat them as such. "Besides, do you really want to be permanently stuck with a fad of your youth?" I ask. I shudder to think of being stuck with my ginormous eighties bangs. Can you imagine. Yikes.
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Communication is key. I want my kids to know that it is "normal" to have worldly thoughts and desires, that there is no sin in temptation. It is what we do with our temptations that determine the type of person we will become. And if they are able to resist and overcome, Oh the joy that awaits us!
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Like I said before, I'm not a perfect parent and I know that despite my best efforts I just might have a child who decides to get a tattoo (or whatever the case may be) anyway because ultimately this is their journey to figure out, but I sure am enjoying our time together and I will never stop teaching, loving and encouraging them because they're so worth it.
I love being a mom, I love my kids, and I LOVE...


THIS BIRTHDAY GIRL!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARLEE!

SWEET SIXTEEN...

How did that happen?

13 comments:

kyslp said...

You have beautiful family! Happy Birthday to your daughter. I try to tell my husband to pick his battles. He does not understand the concept.

Heidi J said...

happy birthday to marlee! amen to the rest. of course, in my family, I-the mom am the one that gets the blue, orange, pink etc hair!

Unknown Mami said...

Happy Birthday to your lovely daughter!

4boyzmdmom said...

Amen to everything you said! I laughed at the other comment...is picking battles harder for men? I know it is harder for my hubby than for me. I am all about picking my battles! Maybe it's because we are around the kids more...if we didn't pick our battles we'd go crazy!!! I love the quote from Sister Hinckley. Try to find ways to say yes!

MaryRC said...

i cannot wait to show this to Mike. He believes you guys are the perfect parents, as do I. he's always on zach about cutting his hair, i like it longer. and i like your philosophy and LOVE your children's choices of hair. it will be something they will look back on and say "can you believe i did that?" with pride.

Heidi J said...

Vi works in Phoenix, at Mane Attractions. They are awesome there. It's kind of a ways away from you isn't it?? This may be a bit more enticing if I tell you, there is a little store by there we LOVE that sells shoes.... at SMOKING prices :)

Jessica said...

He looks like one of those scary children's shows, like the Wiggles or something! I agree, it's definitely better to err on the side of being more supportive.

Bren's Life said...

Man Jeannette - You are ONE AMAZING mom... I need to write this all down so I remember to choose my battles & that I can say yes.. Thank you so much for reminding me how I need to be. I wish I could shadow you & watch how you teach your children.. They are truly lucky to have you

Shellie said...

As the mom of a child that chose to get a tattoo I couldn't agree with you more on all counts.

Rundells said...

Jeanette you are such an inspiring person to me. I love reading your blog. Your posts are so thoughtful and really makes me think about my own life. How can I improve etc. You have a beautiful family and I agree...you have to choose your battles and if it isn't something that will jeopardize their eternal progression then...why not.

Marcie said...

Why oh why can't you follow me around whispering your wisdom in my ear. You may have to shout sometimes, but I promise I would appreciate all of it.

Anonymous said...

I too am the mother of a wise,inspiring, good and beautiful daughter....YOU! Thanks for being the wonderful person you are. And HAPPY 16TH MARLEE. It didn't even hit me until yesterday that this was the big '16' for you. What kind of a grandma does that make me? One that doesn't want her grandchildren to grow up so fast. Love you girl.

Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

What a great philosophy you have to say "yes" as often as possible and choose your battles wisely. Hopefully your son will heed your wisdom about the tattoo as well and just be satisfied with his blue hair, at least for now.