Thursday, October 22, 2009

Finding my passion...

WRITERS WORKSHOP PROMPT:
Describe what makes you want to live a life with passion.





A few years ago I woke to the sound of Marlee sobbing uncontrollably. SOBBING I tell you, she was beside herself with grief and I was THRILLED. Before you think me to be a monster mother I must explain that the reason my child's distress delighted me so was because she was reading my manuscript, the story that I wrote my very own self and I was so happy that she had been sucked into the characters enough to have that kind of reaction.

"Why did he have to do it mom? Why?" She cried. It was one of the proudest moments of my life. But then something happened. For some reason I put my manuscript on the shelf and lost my passion for writing. And it was a passion let me tell you. A passion that woke me at night and followed me around all day. A passion that made me more whole than I had ever been before or have experienced since.

I want to live a life with passion so I can get that back.

Taking old ugly things and making them pretty has been my hobby, my PASSION for years. I painted this once ugly old yard sale dresser many, many years ago and it has followed us from house to house ever since. It's just one of the many fun furniture makeovers that have filled our home and they have brought me great joy. But then something happened and I lost my passion for decorating and makeovers. A very sad, sad thing that has made me a very dull, sad girl.

I want to live a life with passion so I can finally make my new house a home.


My first two daughters never left the house without their hair neatly combed. I had a passion for making sure that my children didn't look like orphans. But then something happened and I let my younger two daughters take charge of their own lives... is that good or bad? I think it's bad especially because when I finally did Easton's hair in a cute style yesterday everyone kept asking her, "Who did your hair? Who did your hair?" Of course it never occurred to them that her mother had done her hair because they had long since assumed that the poor child was an orphan with no mother at all. Sad.

I want to live a life with passion so my children will look as loved on the outside as they are on the inside.
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We've all heard the saying, "When momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"
Well I would add to that, "When momma ain't got passion, ain't nobody got passion"
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I want to live a life with passion so my children will know that this life is theirs to grab hold of and run with. They can have anything, do anything, and be anything they want if they will just go for it and live everyday
WITH PASSION.


16 comments:

Jennifer said...

Great post. I totally feel that way sometimes. Like I've lost something of myself. And it is so hard to get back.

Bina @ Bina's Pad said...

As another who has passion adhd, I was touched by this post.

I love this: "When momma ain't got passion, ain't nobody got passion". I want to live a life with passion so my children will know that this life is theirs to grab hold of and run with.

Thanks for giving me food for thought AND a little hope as I realize that I am not alone in this passion-losing brain! :)
Is very nice to meet you...Bina

Jessica said...

This post was so moving. I felt what you were feeling. I hope that you do find passion in your life again...

marfmom said...

Great post! The dresser is gorgeous! You have such a talent for crafts, I can tell. I hope you find the passion again :-)

Amethyst Moon said...

Thanks for stopping by.

Your dresser is gorgeous and wow! that hair! That was one thing I could never do for my girls. so get out there and live with a passion!

Unknown Mami said...

The manuscript story really touched me. How amazing for someone you love to have such a passionate reaction to something you created! Never forget that you are an artist. You've shown it over and over.

4boyzmdmom said...

You'll get it back...we all go through times when we lose our passion, I think!

Carter said...

Sooo inspiring! Thx!

mommablogsalot said...

Great post. The first part I immediately related to because I took my son to the movies awhile back and noticed him crying and at first I thought he was scared but then realized that he was empathizing with the main characters! OMG I was suddenly filled with pride that he'd been able to get that sucked into the movie just like his mommy! lol

Gayle Bramwell said...

I totally know your feelings about 'where did the passion go?' and appreciate your sharing with us. I remember feeling such passion for a painting that I was working on that I would dream about it and hurry through everything else to get to it and now I miss that - but have moved that passion to other things. I am sure that you have done this too, for you will always have passion for something - even the little things during the day. Perhaps it is more about your children at this time. You are great and have many talents that will always be a part of you.

TheSingleGirl said...

Ok. At the risk of sounding weird...

"I want to live a life with passion so I can finally make my new house a home."

That right there moved me beyond belief. Switch 'house' with 'apartment' and there I am.

You are crazy talented. Monster? No. Talent BREEDER? YES.

Love this.

Tara said...

Great post. Unfortunately passion only goes so far. It fizzles. You have to develop a lasting love to sustain you after the passion fades. It's then that you have commitment. And congrats on making your daughter cry. :]

Summer said...

This is beautiful my love!!!

It's so hard when life seem mundane and it's just the same thing every day, to have that passion.

But, it's what drives us....and we have to work so hard at never losing it!

MaryRC said...

whats it gonna take? i think we need to see each other again soon. maybe you need a new approach. phantom, next month?

Jessica said...

Mmmm so true. So true. And me too.

I've got to change my name. There are other girls out there in your comment section named Jessica?!?!

Mama Kat said...

Wow! I think it's important for all of us to find our passions...I wish mine was in the hair department. My children definitely look like orphans!