I almost threw him into the chokey...

This is me.

Only it's not really me. It's really Rhea Pearlman from "Matilda", my all time favorite movie btw.

I only say it's me because this is how I look during sleeping hours now.

It all started when my husband bought a new space heater for our bedroom (we sleep in an icebox) that shines like the sun at noon day. Rick says it's a, "soft glow" but I think he's a little bit crazy and the "soft glow" was keeping me up every night, making me a lot a bit crazy. It was bad people, really bad, and on the verge of threatening our domestic bliss.

Until...

I remembered that one of my children had gifted me a shnazzy dollar store sleeping mask last year for Christmas (mine is embroidered with closed eyes), and now all is well and blissfully blissful once again.

p.s. our Matilda DVD broke some time ago, making me very sad. But I ordered a new one on Amazon (only 6 bucks) and it should be coming today. JOY.

Am I a nerd for liking that movie so much? Or do you love it too?

Come on, the Trunchbull is GENIUS.

Pondering...

While studying the scriptures this morning my heart was stirred up by Nephi's words when he said:

15And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children.

16Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

As I read these words I thought about how just as Nephi had plates upon which he recorded the history of his people and plates upon which he recorded the things of his soul I too want to do that. I have always wanted to do that because my soul does delight in the things of the Lord and my heart does ponder upon them continually, but I also want to take the time to record the things of my "people" trying to live the blissful life here in Smalltown, USA.

So what I'm getting at is that I'm going to set a goal to record the things of my soul over on my other blog, "Words for This Day" and record the history, or comings and goings, of my peeps here. I don't know if it's a good idea but I'm gonna try it just the same because this is my journey and I'm allowed to try new things when I feel so inclined. Even if they end in failure. And that's pretty cool if you ask me. Well, even if you don't ask me I still think it's cool.

And if you ask me, or don't ask me as the case may be, I'm gonna tell you that if you want a really good read today, if you want your soul to do jumping jacks of joy inside your chest, you must turn to 2 Nephi chapter 4. And if you don't want to read the whole thing at least read verses 16-35 and count how many "amens" and "hallelujahs" you feel cause to utter. Fab-u-lous.

And if you don't have a Book of Mormon at your disposal, you can read it by clicking HERE.

Do it, you know you want to. It's nondenominational--good for everyone-- counsel and it's fab to the u to the lous. For real.

Lets fly...

(remember my poster? Well I'm showing it to you again today to say, "See that bird in the upper left corner? That's me, breaking free from my cage.")

While folding socks this morning I watched a show about the leper colonies in India and was very moved by it.

Aside from the obvious point that I need to do more to help out in this big old wide world I also gained tidbits of knowledge to help in my own growth and development. I jotted a few things down that jumped out at me and I'll share them with you now (btw, I've been trying to take notes while watching TV (of the uplifting variety) and I highly recommend it).

Hopefully these will make sense because I'm going to share them just as they appear in my notebook.

...life is a series of choices that lead us to who we are.

...these can alter the very concept of who I am.

...they had no faith in themselves.

...they were stuck in their colonies, wasting their true potential.

I want to talk about this last one for a minute. Have we not all placed ourselves in one colony or another of our own creation? I know I have created my own "leper colony" of sorts where I hide myself away from reaching my full potential. My colony consists of those self defeating words such as, "I can't" or "I'll never". To leave my colony is to be exposed and vulnerable. To leave means that I have to be willing to fail as well as succeed (and sometimes the thought of succeeding can be just as scary).

I know I can stay in my colony forever, begging and borrowing life's accomplishments and joys from the works of others or I can stand up, leave, and create the life that I really want to experience and in turn be able to share those experiences with those around me.

A few more notes to share were these:

...they gained the dignity of earning their own living.

...the dignity is more important than the money.

I so badly want to gain the dignity that comes from going out and earning those life gifts that have been so generously bestowed upon me by a loving creator. And I dare say that I want it badly enough to really do something about it TODAY. That's right.

So if you happen to come across a trail of bandages littering the pathway of life, you'll know it's just me, freed from my colony and walking toward wholeness.

Want to come?

My piece of the sky...

“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Did I say I was addicted to Emerson? Well the other day the above paragraph knocked me right in the gut (in a good way). “envy is ignorance…imitation is suicide” can I get some “Amens” and “Hallelujahs” for that one?

Now I’d like to say that I never envy or try to imitate, but let’s get real… we all do it to one extent or another from time to time. Of course we do. We are living in a society that is set up for such behavior, and it is for certain the quickest way to inner suicide—the death of our peace, tranquility and BLISSFUL LIFE. I'm going to work very hard not to waste my time comparing myself to others because I was not put on this earth to be anyone else. I was put here to BE ME. That’s it. Just me.

“…The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray.”

~Emerson

I don’t want to have my gaze so fixed upon others that I miss the one ray that I was placed here to see—that particular ray that is my life’s errand to experience and to testify about.

Wish me luck.

Wanna come to my yard sale?

I blame it on the fact that I took children's literature in high school instead the good old regular literature class. It's the only explanation for why I missed out on the likes of Emerson and Thoreau. Of course I've heard of Emerson and Thoreau (who hasn't) but I missed out on reading their works (other than a few tidbits here and there) until just recently when I helped Marlee with a homework assignment and exclaimed, "Egad, what have I been missing?!" And now I'm pretty much addicted to them both, along with others like them (Marlee just asked me last night, "What, are you addicted to those guys now?" To which I replied, "Addicted? Puh, no." but I think I am)

So anyway...
Yesterday I was reading (in Marlee's textbook no less) an excerpt from one of Anne Morrow Lindbergh's writings (she's in the same chapter with my two new favorite guys) where she said:

"Today more of us in America than anywhere else in the world have the luxury of choice between simplicity and complication of life. And for the most part, we, who could choose simplicity, choose complication."

And that's when I started singing "Amens" and "hallelujahs" because I for one am tired of complicating my life by chasing after those things that have no true value. Tired up to my breaking point I tell you. T-I-R-E-D.

Then, as if to further confirm Lindbergh's words, I saw a show yesterday about that little trailer house pictured above. The man who lives there decided to see how little one could live on and still be happy. I began to lament about how badly I desire to forsake all of the things of the world and live in a tiny house with few possessions when I heard a voice say, "You don't have to live in a tiny house to live more simply. You can start right now."

And now my house is full of heavy duty industrial sized black trash bags filled to the brim because I am going through each item I own and asking, "Does this simplify or complicate my life?" And wouldn't you know it...
Most of it is just crap. Pointless, life sucking garbage that's gotta go.
Buh-bye.

Good tidings of great joy...

(You know I can't do a post without a picture so here we are on the Tower of Terror ride. It kind of represents the "Nor height, nor depth..." part listed below. I really, really hate heights. Have I ever told you that?)

Yesterday was a day filled with fasting, praying, searching, pondering, learning, growing... in other words it was a very good day.

I am grateful for a Father in Heaven who allows us to stumble, knowing that it is during these times of "uncertainty" and "trial" (though I hesitate to call it a trial because of the blessings that have come from it) that the greatest wisdom and understanding can be gained.

Some of my favorite scriptures from yesterday are found in Romans:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
~8:28

If God be for us, who can be against us?
~8:31

He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
~8:32

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
~8:35, 37-39

Yep, yesterday was a great day all right and good news, tomorrow will be too because God lives and no power, nor things present, nor things to come will ever change that. And if God is for me who can be against me? Seriously, who?

Maybe...

My family REALLY wants me to start blogging again. I like my family. I like to make my family happy. But do I still like blogging? Hmmm...

Once upon a time (in the fall of 2006 to be exact) I moved to a strange land. Okay so it's not that strange and not really much of a land, more of a town really, and a small town at that. I guess that was the problem. It was too small for my big city self. Not that I'm any kind of high roller with big city swag mind you, it's just that I tend to be a little more on the shy side (Marlee doesn't believe that I'm shy because I always had boyfriends and kissed "every boy in the world" according to her. I didn't really). Because of my shy ways I liked blending in, even disappearing into the sea of people that is the Valley of the Sun.

This move forced me to step out of my comfort zone. I had to be more outgoing and involved or DIE. Really. Because all joys of hobbies past were dead and gone (no good thrift stores, yard sales etc.) and my life threatened to snuff out right along with them if I didn't find new joys.

And thus this blog was born. It was a great place for me to speak my mind so I wouldn't lose my mind. But now my mind is more stable. My mind, and heart, have found a place here in this small place and I'm happy and busy and rarely find myself on the computer anymore. And now to make matters worse (for blogging that is) I just found out this morning that I am indeed going to be busier than ever for the next few weeks at least. Yikes.

But my family REALLY wants me to blog. And I REALLY like my family. So let's just say...

I'll try.