Sugar, spice, and a side of snails...

"Why are you dressed like that?" I asked. And I wasn't referring to the fact that they looked like hoochie mamas. What I was really trying to get to the bottom of is why my SON was dressed like a GIRL.

"I'm teaching Waylon how to be a girl." Jamie explained. "Can we have some lipstick or nail polish to put in our purses?"

"No. Absolutely no makeup." I had to drawn the line somewhere.

"Okay." They said as Waylon sneakily grabbed something off of my vanity and headed for the door.

"You'd better not be sneaking makeup." I warned him.

"Sorry." He said with a sheepish grin, putting the stolen nail polish back where he had found it.

"Thank you for telling the truth honey. I'm very proud of you." I told him.

With pride of his own beaming forth he raced after Jamie and asked, "Hey Jamie, do girls do that? Do girls tell the truth?"

"Yes Waylon girls sometimes always tell the truth." She informed him. Then continuing her tutorship she explained to him that girls love to talk, "So we need to sit down on the couch and have a talk." she said.

"So," Waylon began, "have you ever seen a dead dog?"

"No Waylon." Jamie snapped in disgust, "Girls do not talk like that."

"Oh."

"And girls always sit with their legs crossed like this." Jamie modeled daintily.

Waylon sat copying her for a moment before announcing, "Yeah, but this squishes my penis a little."

Then after a picture and a request by Jamie to put it on my blog, "Girls always put things on their blogs." She explained. The two of them ran off to change for the "how to be a boy" portion of the evening.

I didn't catch as much of this conversation but I did learn, along with Jamie, that boys like to sit like this, that they always drink their sodas with no lid or straw, and when Jamie laughed too enthusiastically at one of his jokes Waylon informed her that, "No Jamie, boys do not laugh as much as girls do."

It wasn't until I learned from one of my older kids that Waylon was upstairs smashing one of my baskets because, "Boys like to break things" that I put a stop to their education and sent them to get ready for bed.

I'm constantly shaking my head with these two, but they do keep me laughing.