Maybe if he had called first...

WRITER'S WORKSHOP PROMPT:
What summer means to your family

**********************************************

Summer for our family usually means visitors. Friends, family, fun. We love visitors.

Well... most of the time.



This summer visitor, found hanging out by our doorbell yesterday, wasn't exactly welcomed with opened arms. I'm afraid we quite rudely shrieked in horror when we walked out the door and found him (her (?)) there.

Guess we need to work on our hospitality skills.

And so it goes...

It's been an eventful few weeks in the blissful house. I wish I could say that I've been away vacationing in the Caribbean or some other such news, but no such luck. Truth is, after watching my dear Mr. Blissful deteriorate right before my eyes this past month (he's been sooo sick, still is, and has lost close to 40 pounds in less than a month) we finally got a diagnosis of diabetes last Monday (I knew it. I told you I like to read medical books and he had all of the symptoms. Bummer).

The Doctor wanted to admit him into the hospital to get everything straitened out, but because we don't have insurance we're stuck trying to get him regulated the slow, slow, SLOW way and I hate watching him suffer. Those with diabetes know that when not properly regulated it can be a very MISERABLE experience. More miserable than those of us without it could ever fully comprehend.

Because I'm the star chef around these parts I've been doing a lot of studying this past week, trying to figure out how to feed my man (Paula Deen, the affair is over. It's splitsville for us now and forever. And this time I mean it). It's a lot to learn and we hope to meet with a dietitian after his lab work comes in and we know exactly what we're dealing with (the Dr suspects it's type 1. Bummer.)

Anyway it's been interesting. I've had to take on the role of the tough, take charge one and I dare say it's been good for me. But even so, I can't wait for my dearest love to be back to feeling like his normal healthy self again.

P.S. We went to the Valley this weekend and had to stop in for a bite at a fast food place. Because I'm the one who's been studying his diet, Rick kept asking me if he could order this, that or the other and when I'd say no the girl behind the counter looked at me like I was some kind of psycho controlling wife. Seriously funny.

Love her...

I'm tired today. SERIOUSLY tired. I had a great chat with my sister last night. So great that it lasted til 2 am. Fabulous. That's not what did me in however. It was the stupid, STUPID movie I stayed up to watch after that. 4 am. That's what time I went to bed. Four in the stinkin' morning. Why?

So now I'm dying. To death. I figure I have a few choices to help with this problem.
1) Go take a nap (the obvious choice)

2) Crank some LOUD tunes while cleaning like a mad woman to get my blood pumping

Or

3) Sit on my tired buttum and attempt to write a blog post.

While trying to decide what to do I've been sitting on my buttum reading blog posts (go take a nap already you nerdball) and whilst sitting here on my buttum, Busy Bee Lauren challenged me to find my favorite old picture and post about it. So now I can't nap. Because it's a challenge. And I loves me a challenge. And I also love this old picture. It's one of my ALL TIME FAVORITES.

Ah, our Christmas card from 2003 (yes I sent this out to everyone). I don't think I need to tell the story behind this picture because it's Jamie. And all who know my Jamie say, "Oh, of course."

If you don't know my Jamie you can read a little about her HERE, HERE or HERE.

One of the subjects of mine and my sister's conversation last night was how much we love this Jamie girl. She definitely keeps it real. Everyday she keeps it very, VERY real. Love her.

So worth it...

Writer's Workshop Prompt:
Before I was a mom...




I'm supposed to be on my way to Utah right now with my dearest love. Just he and I (and well, two other men, but no kids). It was to be a weekend of enlightenment and good times for all.

Until...

Waylon decided to participate in a fun little barf-o-rama that began just before bedtime yesterday and lasted ALL NIGHT LONG. So at home I sit... because I am a mom.

Before I was a mom I could selfishly do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I could jet set the world over if it suited my fancy without worrying about the needs of anyone else.

Only...

It didn't suit my fancy to live for myself. Because before I was a mom all I wanted was-- to be a mom.

Barf... missed opportunities... and all.

Of course that doesn't mean I can't be bummed about the barf... missed opportunities... and all.

Because I am.

But at least those kiddos o' mine are worth the sacrifice.

So very, very worth it.

Run, run as fast as you can you can't catch me I've got Jack...

Lately I've been feeling a little like Forest Gump in that I want to keep running and running and running. I feel like I need to be out in nature more to clear my head and contemplate things.

Saturday night I went out with Waylon to lie on the trampoline, gaze at the stars and try to think, but then the sprinklers came on and sent us both running for the house.

Last night I told the fam, "I'm going for a walk. Who wants to come?" All but Landon joined me, but when we found that we had walked too far from the house Paige called Landon (ah, cell phones) and he drove over to pick us up. I wanted to keep walking but because it was eight thirty and we were on a dark and secluded dirt road my sweet protective husband asked me please not to.

What I really need is to get out by myself and run. I need quiet time to reflect and ponder, to form the words that need to be written down in those letters to myself (that I spoke of in an earlier post). Until I find that psychiatrist or vault friend I NEED TO RUN. Of course running with a vault friend and or psychiatrist would be even better (will psychiatrists run with you) but for now I'm hoping that if I run with Mr. Jack the dog my husband won't object to me being out alone.

Jack's fierce (Lily, not so much) and he'll rip the head off of any who try to mess with me.

I hope.

Okay, I'll tell you...

Well there certainly aren't a shortage of memes out in the blogsphere to get involved in. They're EVERYWHERE. So many in fact that it's hard to decide on just one.

But today I'm going to join with My Little Life for Five Question Friday because I don't feel like thinking too hard this morning and I'm hoping that answering questions will be easy. Plus her button is really cute. Just look at it. Cuteness.

So let's get started with today's Five Questions...




1. If you could go back to college would you change your major? Or, if you were to go to college right now...what major would you choose?

Because my major seemed to be "How to be a goofball and have as much fun as possible" then I would say YES I would definitely change my major. I've kicked myself many times through the years for not taking college more seriously (or seriously at all) back when I had the chance. If only my young self had known that that was her moment to grab opportunity and run with it. If only she had known how hard it would be to get it back later. And that's where I find myself now...

I've arrived at "later" and now it's time to get serious and figure out just what I want to be when I grow up. My baby is starting school this year and I think it would be great if I could too, but since I've already gotten that degree in being a goofball and having fun, I have no idea what to major in this time around. Hmm...

2. What do you love most about your home?

Oh my home. A subject that sends me running straight to the psychiatrist's office (if only I had a psychiatrist). I have a love hate relationship with my house. It's beautiful, it's spacious, it's surrounded by wonderful people. So what's the problem? You ask. Unless you're a psychiatrist you really don't want to know it's really far too deep and utterly ridiculous to get into. But though I've struggled with this for some time I think it's beginning to get better. Yes I think it is.

Despite all of this however, I can tell you that my favorite thing about my home is the ginormous family room at the far corner of the upper story. Notice I said "far corner" which is why it's my favorite thing especially when we have gatherings with many children or sleepovers with many children. We don't hear a thing. Fabulous.

3. What types of books do you like to read (if you like to read at all)?

While most young people can be found reading the latest fantasy or romance novel, when I was a young girl it wasn't unusual to find me with books with titles such as "Children's Hospital" or "True Stories from the ER" Of course I did read some romance, I am a girl after all, but my favorite stories have always been those of the real life human experience. And while my favorite book, the one I've read the very most is "The Hiding Place" about an amazing woman who ended up in a concentration camp during WWII, I'd have to say that I have spent much of my time reading stories of a medical nature.

In college I did a report on a book about the surgeons of the Civil War and I've read my copy of a medical encyclopedia so many times that the cover has fallen completely off.
Hmm... I think I may have found my major.

4. What is the grossest thing you've ever eaten?

While on a recent juice fast, I found a recipe for a homemade vegetable juice concoction that was supposed to be SO GOOD for strengthening my body. I think I spent a small fortune getting all of the vegetables for that juice only to turn around and DUMP IT DOWN THE DRAIN. It had to be the nastiest thing I have ever tasted, my salivary glands are spurting in protest right now just thinking about it. Trust me, I would never have poured that much money down the sink if there was any way around it but it was THAT BAD. Bluck.

5. If you HAD to be a character on a TV show, whom would you be?

This one is hard for me. I don't watch a lot of fictional television (refer back to question 3) and I have no desire to be any of the characters I watch on reality TV. They're all off their nut. I'm trying to remember if there was a TV character I really wanted to be back when I was a young single girl but I'm drawing a blank (my favorite, favorite show as a teen was "North and South" maybe I'd want to be Madeline (I think that was her name) on that show so I could smooch on that hunky, hunky Orie Maine or however you spell it (Patrick Swayze) or maybe I'd be Ashton Maine for a day because she was so delightfully evil).

Then again if I was a young single girl right now maybe it would be fun to be the Bachelorette for a season. But then I have a very hard time being mean to people and just might end up with an entourage of 20 guys following me around for the rest of my life because I'd just have to give them all a rose. Wait, I lie...

It's been so long since I've been single that I've forgotten my breakup history. Sever and run. That was my pattern. Sever a limb (my limb, his limb whatever) if you have to and high tail it out of there. Never looking back, never becoming "just friends" just run (I was never good with breakups. My older kids have heard the stories and they think I'm evil. Hmm... maybe I should be Ashton Maine after all).

Well I have...

WRITER'S WORKSHOP PROMPT:
Begin each line of your post with “have you ever”.

Only I'm changing it to Begin each paragraph of your post with "have you ever".

Have you ever called a man other than your husband hot?

Did it cause controversy like it did for me HERE? When I told my husband about my niece's disapproval of my calling other men hot he said, "Well she's just young. She'll figure it out."

.

And it's true. She'll learn that calling a celebrity hot is the same as calling a fictional character say like Edward Cullen hot (although I'm more of a Jacob woman but whatever) it doesn't mean anything. When I told my husband this he agreed so I asked him, "Who do you think is hot?" To which he replied, "You." (so sweet).

.

Then I reminded him that I'm not pregnant or otherwise hormonal in any way so he could tell me the truth and when he still wouldn't I mentioned a few stars that I thought were beautiful (because women know when other women are beautiful and it has nothing to do with sea salt and vinegar potato chips (?)) and he agreed with my choices and it wasn't one bit threatening so apparently "Hot" is not a four letter word in our house.

.

And speaking of hot...

Have you ever thought it would be hot to have a tattoo?

I used to but now (and I hope not to offend) I'm getting sick of looking at them. They're everywhere and I'm so over it. So I LOVED when Teresa from the Real Housewives of New Jersey explained that she doesn't have any tattoos because (and I quote) "Would you put a bumper sticker on a Bentley?" Fabulous.

.

Have you ever watched the Real Housewives of New Jersey?

I pretty much love Jersey girls. They're so fascinating to listen to (Caroline sounds like a female version of the Godfather when she talks. Love) And I love how they're so tough. Now I know why my BFF is so cool and tough. She was born in Jersey and let me tell you, she always had my back.

.

Have you ever been addicted to pot?

I never was, never even tried it until my good friends Holly and Vandee introduced me to it (for medicinal purposes only of course) and now I can see myself becoming addicted to it very quickly. It feels so good I could use it all day long. In fact I'm fixin' to go stuff it up my nose right now.

.

Huh?

.

Oh... you thought I meant... oh no I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about a Neti Pot. I use it to dump a saline solution up one nostril then watch it flow out the other nostril. It's quite amazing really and does wonders for my allergies. You must try it. It's fun. Seriously.

.

Have you ever noticed that your blog post was getting WAY TOO LONG then ended it rather abruptly?

Tiny tantalizing tidbits for you to enjoy...

So I decided to participate in some memes this week. What's a meme you ask? Well I'll tell you (now that I learned myself. Apparently there's a world of blogging lingo out there that one must learn) A meme is when a blogger has a good idea for a post, shares it, people write about it on their own blog and everyone gets together to read each other's take on the theme (btw, I ripped off that explanation from Paige at Life is a Phoenix. Thanks Paige).



Today I will join in with the Un Mom for Random Tuesday Thoughts (yes I know the date on my post says Monday. That's because I happen to be writing this on Monday, but you'll most likely be reading it on Tuesday so it's all good).

Anyway, random Tuesday thoughts are just that--random thoughts. So lets play along shall we.




Because my oldest chicken is preparing to fly the nest, we decided to have family pictures taken. The above is a sample of said pictures. Love it. Only, for reasons I don't want to get into, we can't blow this family picture up into a large and beautiful wall hanging. So on Friday we dressed up in our picture taking clothes (again) and traveled for a photo session (again). I'm hoping the new pictures turn out but it was so windy that day that I'm a little nervous about it.

Also the oldest chicken's hair is chopped off short in the new pictures and Waylon (the youngest chicken) couldn't move his head so I guess we'll just have to keep our fingers crossed for a positive outcome.

Friday morning, just hours before the photo shoot, Waylon decided to jump on the trampoline while holding our dog Jack on a leash. All was well until Jack saw a rabbit, sailed off of the trampoline in hopes of catching it and took Waylon with him. Fabulous. Waylon said he flew up higher than the swing set before slamming into the ground with his face, which is why he couldn't move his head for the pictures. It was bad timing for him to engage in such a little boy stunt, but I am grateful that he wasn't hurt any worse.

I must be growing up because my visit to the Valley of the Sun didn't excite me quite as much this time. And (brace yourselves) I didn't have any desire to go to yard sales while I was there (I ended up going anyway when Waylon and my nephew woke up early and needed to get out of the house so the others could sleep, but I only bought a couple of needed items). I'm just so sick of stuff. SICK OF IT. I'm done with stuff and want to throw all of my existing stuff away. Yes I do.

I hate driving on cruise control. It makes me feel out of control. My husband said, "Set the cruise control."

I said, "OK." Then, "Yuck, I don't like this." Then, "Crap, why is the car making that racing noise when I'm not even touching the gas?"

My husband said, "It's climbing a hill."

I said, "I don't like cruise control." And turned it off.

My husband said, "I'm not tired anymore. Let me drive." My husband likes to drive. Me, not so much (obviously), which is another reason we are living in happily ever afterness.

My house is full of extra chickens tonight because it's summer and that's how we roll in the summer. We invite extra chickens to come spend the night. But tonight we invited five extra chickens and it's been a little crazy in the coop. But only a little crazy and nothing I can't handle because I'm a super tough chic like that (tough as in nothing bothers me not as in children fear me. No children fear me, but apparently they respect me because all is quiet now and I think they might actually be asleep). L-O-V-E summertime.

A hot topic...

We've all heard it from Dr. Phil and other such experts, "Don't fight in front of your children it makes them worry about the stability of their home." Well apparently it's not good to say the word "hot" in front of children either unless of course you are referring to your dearest love.

I learned this today while cranking the tunes to get through my drudge work. It was when Michael Hutchence from Inxs began to tell me that he Needs Me Tonight that I got into trouble. It wasn't entirely my fault though. I mean Paige started it after all when she proclaimed, "He is so hot." To which I agreed then added, "Yes he is. We must look at him right now." So I pulled him up on YouTube and proceeded to Ooo and Ahh with Paige.

Fast forward about 20 minutes...

I continued to work in the kitchen when Paige came to tell me, "Just for future reference, you probably shouldn't say guys are hot in front of B. (cousin). She went upstairs and told S. (honorary cousin) that you just called a guy hot and S. said 'SHE DID?!' So you kind of freaked them out."

To which I replied, "I don't have a problem with that. I'm sorry. The man is hot. And besides I thought he was hot when I was a teen girl, before I was married, so it's all good."

I love the memories that can be triggered simply by listening to a song. Inxs, particularly the song "Need You Tonight", takes me instantly back to driving down the road (Southern to get to school--Broadway to go see friends) in my little blue Karmann Ghia


with my big AquaNet hair blowing out the opened window. I loved that song and when it would come on the radio it filled me with instant sass. I'd crank it as loud as I could and sing along while exchanging glances with certain passersby of the male persuasion. So fun.

Because of memories such as these, "Need You Tonight" will always be one of my favorite songs and Michael Hutchence will always be HOT to me. Smokin' baby. But let me assure my dear niece and honorary niece that they don't need to worry. I will not be leaving my dearest love anytime soon for this dead eighties star-- who happens to be very HOT-- for two reasons...

1) I love my dearest love and don't want any other man and

2) Well... he's dead.

Dearest Brunette Self, will you be my vault friend...

WRITER'S WORKSHOP PROMPT:
Describe a time when you had difficulty communicating with someone who speaks a different language than you.



I have wonderful people in my life. I'm richly blessed. But sometimes I feel like the language of the deepest part of my soul is one that no other person on this earth would understand. I feel like there are certain things I will never, ever be able to communicate. So I was thinking--today in fact, before I read this prompt--that since I alone understand the language of my soul perhaps I should write down my deepest thoughts, address them to myself, read them then burn them in what could potentially be a very therapeutic ceremony.
Or...
I could just find a therapist and skip the whole writing and burning part all together.
Fabulous.

What I really need is a vault friend.
Are you a vault friend or do you just have to spill the beans?
Mail me your credentials and we'll talk.

Continued confession...

It's not that I don't love the one I made the commitment to. I DO. You have all heard me profess my love for him right here on this blog, more than once. I love him for his strength, his conviction and his hottie, hottie, hotness. But even with all of that it wasn't enough to bridle my passion for...
HER.

Oh Paula, I love you. And I don't care who knows it. I know I pledged my devotion to Hugh and believe me I tried to stay true to him, going on a high protein diet and working out everyday, but I couldn't get you out of my mind. I missed your sinful goodness. I needed fat. I needed butter. So help me Paula I NEEDED CARBS, oh how I needed carbs. And so I slowly invited you back into my world and I'm not ashamed to admit that I didn't regret a single moment of our time together.
Until...
I did a cleansing fast, lost 10 pounds, and began to feel healthy again, which lead me back to thoughts of...
Him.

And now I want him back. Oh Hugh please say it isn't too late for us. Tell me that I can still be hot, ripped and sexy like you (or the female version of you). Please Hugh, please. I'm sorry that I betrayed you with Paula. Well, actually I'm not, but I'm ready to forsake her now and come back to you. Well mostly, I'll probably still spend time with her on the weekends, but please know that I'll ALWAYS LOVE YOU MORE THAN HER I promise.

So what do you say we meet for breakfast tomorrow? Come on, please. We can have egg whites without toast... or butter. Yes, I'll do that for you. I'll do it for you Hugh.

That must count for something.

Feeling like a fool...

Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above
~Glenn Frey

Confessions aren’t easy. Especially when I know that this will let you my blogging friends (and others) down. But I must get this off my chest. I must come clean if I am ever to move forward.

Sometimes in life we make commitments based solely on the fact that we know it’s what’s best for us. I am one who has done this. I made a commitment to stay with one who was good for me, who had my best interest at heart, one who would take care of me and see me through for the long haul—even though my passion for another still ran deep.

They say transgression begins in our thoughts and oh how my thoughts betrayed me. I tried to stay focused, to push unwanted fantasies out of my mind, but no matter how I tried to combat it, an untamed fervor pulsed through me and soon…it was too late.

It started out small, a quick bite at lunch or a brief encounter for dinner, then it all fell apart. Maybe it was because I had tried to move on too quickly. Perhaps if I had let go in stages instead of trying to stifle my desires so abruptly, this wouldn’t have happened. But it did happen. As much as I hate to admit it, it did. I succumbed to temptation, spiraling into a torrid affair…
with the one I love.

TO BE CONTINUED…

I'm telling you, don't try it...

WRITER'S WORKSHOP PROMPT:
What was your medicine? Write about a time you remember being ill.




It all began on Mother's Day a short time ago. We sat visiting at my mother-in-law's house when I picked up her Nutritional Healing book and while thumbing through it came across the cleansing juice fast. Hmm, that sounds interesting--I thought. And right then and there I decided to give it a try the very next day.

For this fast I had to eat nothing but raw fruits and vegetables for two days then nothing but juice, herb tea, and water on the third day followed by two more days of raw fruits and vegetables after that. The fast was surprisingly easy. By the time I reached the juice day I wasn't hungry at all and never felt the least bit deprived. It was a piece of cake (well, not cake) easy peasy and I even lost 10 pounds. Wow, this is so worth it--I told myself.

UNTIL...

The cleansing portion of my fruit and vegetable party caught up with me and OH MY GOSH I WAS SO SICK. So sick I felt like curling up in a ball and dying.
This is so not worth it--I decided--so, so not worth it.

The only medicine for this ailment was time, patience in my suffering and oh yeah, those 10 pounds I lost. That was kind of fun, but still so not worth it.

Seriously.

His ten cow wife...

Today while huggin' on my husband in the hallway I told him, "You are my completeness."
I then walked away to find Waylon's church shoes and he followed me asking, "What do you mean?" And when I opened my mouth to tell him what I meant emotion took over and I started to cry and then I couldn't get the words out and that's just annoying don'tcha think.

When I could finally speak I said, "It's like the Lady told her husband at the meeting we went to yesterday (we went to a meeting yesterday--in case you didn't catch that) when she thanked him for letting her shine--
--You always let me shine."

And then I pondered just how blessed I am to be so loved, which made me walk around with a little shine in my step and smile in my heart the rest of the day.

Having a completeness is a very good thing indeed.

Dirty laundry...

WRITER'S WORKSHOP PROMPT:
Whom did you hide from? Write about a hiding place you haven’t used for a while.



I wanted to share something really juicy for this prompt. Having a secret hiding place and a story about hiding from someone there sounds like something that could be very exciting if told right. But because I try to stay clear of the juicy stuff on this here blog, I'll share the story of when I got caught smoking (just kidding--that's just rolled up paper) I mean hiding with my college roommates.

My first semester away at school I lived in the dorms. This had its perks (like not having to hear my neighbors having relations at night, but I'll save that for another post) but it also came with a curfew. Blah. Who wants a curfew when you're in college?

Well my roommates and I certainly didn't like it. No we did not. What we did like however were boys. Yes we did.



Boys such as these whom we stayed out late visiting one night only to find ourselves locked out of the dorms when we returned. Oops. Fortunately someone even sneakier than we had left the laundry room door propped opened and in we slid. Woo-hoo. EXCEPT...

While in the laundry room we heard a search party going on in the courtyard, a search party looking for us. Our absence had already been discovered. Dang. We hid in the laundry room as long as we could then, coming up with the perfect plan, we ran out in a giddy, giggly fashion. And when asked where we had been we explained,

"We were just playing hide and seek in the laundry room."

Insert the chirping of crickets here.

They looked at us like we were the lamest goofballs ever, but at least we were able to hide the fact that we were late and avoid getting into trouble. So whatever snooty girls who never play hide and seek or stay out late carousing with boys. What-ev-er.

P.S. I've hidden in the laundry room since that day, but that story fits into the juicy category and it's definitely a place I haven't used for a while--for hiding or otherwise (especially not laundry).